Captain Clagoff

Atlatl wrote:

Who know what effect Yatagan's... stuff... would have on them."

"I don't know" says Yatagan earnestly. "I've never done battle with unjust virgins."

gridley wrote:

"Well, it would be delightful to have you on stage, but if that's not your cup of tea, how about perched in a balcony with your bow ready to take out critics?"

"If I don't have to speak, I'll be on stage." She shrugs. "But I'm still not keen on this zombie pig idea..."

Quote :

"I don't know" says Yatagan earnestly. "I've never done battle with unjust virgins."

"Umm. Don't worry. I'm sure the virgins are fine," Penelope says. Unjust or not, I hope...

Atlatl wrote:

(Heal check to see if Heyoka knows of any drugs that would enhance the appreciation of bad dragonborn melodrama: 26)

Great! All that was left to make you guys real heroes was to go into drug-smuggling. And yes, there are a couple of narcotics which Heyoka can think of which might make an audience a little more, um, mellow and amenable to any entertainment. Free alcohol would be safer and cheaper, of course.

BTW, the above raises a question - what will constitute "winning" the competition? Better ticket sales? The opinion of one or more judges? Whichever play manages to get through three performances without the theater burning down or the players killed?

shilsen wrote:

Free alcohol would be safer and cheaper, of course.

OOC: When is this group ever safe and cheap? We set a slum on fire expensive fireworks when a simple torch would have sufficed...

Artistic merit, clearly.

We nominate one judge, Clagoff another, and a mutually agreed upon third party for the breaking of ties.

Treasure shall act as our judge, methinks.

Rolzup wrote:

Treasure shall act as our judge, methinks.

OOC: Naturally.

IC: As the members of the newly-minted Miracle Pig Theater leave the Ethical Circus by way of Hard Eight Avenue, named for a famously gruesome match between an octet of condemned criminals and an unreasonable large spider, Yatagan addresses his companions.

"Ms. Pindar, would you consider taking the stage? You can write the part yourself, with a little editing, of course. Audiences today, sick of years worth of Clagoff's claptrap, crave the real. I can safely say they've really never seen the likes of you.

"You'd be like an angel of mercy combined with a deadly mime."

"And Heyoka, you were meant for the stage. Because you believe... whatever people say... and then respond with such passion. That's the soul of the acting!"

"Now, Mr. Cadaveris, can you suggest means by which can zombify a pig quickly? Or should we just hie to Clagaoff's ship and deliver our challenge?

Mallus wrote:

"Now, Mr. Cadaveris, can you suggest means by which can zombify a pig quickly? Or should we just hie to Clagaoff's ship and deliver our challenge?

It's getting well into the evening at this point, and obtaining a zombie pig would take some time. Of course, there must be at least one in the Hereafter district somewhere. Which would also be the place to go when you plan to continue on Clarissa Glossop's job for you, i.e. locating Pit.

OOC: shil, where is Clagoff now? He must have left instructions where to deliver Treasure.

Mallus wrote:

OOC: shil, where is Clagoff now? He must have left instructions where to deliver Treasure.

Actually, Clagoff's note had no instructions whatsoever. Just the threat/promise, and that's all.

Presumably he's at his home, and if not, you can find out where he is by inquiring there.

If not at home, he's probably at his theater what with the show opening in a week.

shilsen wrote:

Great! All that was left to make you guys real heroes was to go into drug-smuggling.

For Heyoka, that's just following the family business. His Shifter clan, and others like them, are in the business of drug harvesting, refining, and smuggling. They use their advanced noses to hunt down the best psychedelic fungi, plants, and animals which can be refined into mind-altering substances, to export and sell to decadent Port wholesalers.

He's considering training Treasure to find the fungi used to make Mindshatter Oil (like truffle oil, only causing vivid 36 hour long hallucinations, and occasionally bleeding from the eyes). They also harvest various animal-based narcotics. When Heyoka sees his family again, he's going to tell them to look into dragonborn semen as a possible new source.

Atlatl wrote:

For Heyoka, that's just following the family business. His Shifter clan, and others like them, are in the business of drug harvesting, refining, and smuggling. They use their advanced noses to hunt down the best psychedelic fungi, plants, and animals which can be refined into mind-altering substances, to export and sell to decadent Port wholesalers.

He's considering training Treasure to find the fungi used to make Mindshatter Oil (like truffle oil, only causing vivid 36 hour long hallucinations, and occasionally bleeding from the eyes). They also harvest various animal-based narcotics. When Heyoka sees his family again, he's going to tell them to look into dragonborn semen as a possible new source.

Nice! Now to see what I can do with that piece of background.

Rolzup wrote:

Treasure shall act as our judge, methinks.

"At the risk of being the voice of reason," says Odanais, "which is frankly staggering... how exactly will Treasure deliver her verdict?

Atlatl wrote:

They use their advanced noses to hunt down the best psychedelic fungi, plants, and animals which can be refined into mind-altering substances, to export and sell to decadent Port wholesalers.

OOC: So they're a cross between truffle pigs and the Taliban?

Quote :

""At the risk of being the voice of reason," says Odanais, "which is frankly staggering... howexactly will Treasure deliver her verdict?"

"We could say Treasure will nod spastically in approval of a good play, and then carefully, without anyone seeing, place some water or pig-meal on her head. Or one of us could pose as the priest or priestess of Treasure and claim to know how to interpret her grunting..."

"Surely you can train her to nod, or stomp a trotter, or perhaps disembowel a stage-hand upon command, yes? Alternatively," Vox's eyes light up as he tries to get into the spirit of the thing, "We could create a pantomime-pig, with some of our number hiding within and acting the part of Treasure! It'd be difficult to make it convincing, but if we perhaps hollow-out the zombie pig that we've been considering....

"Or perhaps not," he hastily concludes, as he sees Penelope's expression.

Yup, it's official. You guys are nuts!

So, are we heading to Clagoff or going in search of zombie pigs?

shilsen wrote:

So, are we heading to Clagoff or going in search of zombie pigs?

OOC: What kind of shape are we in? Did we get an extended rest? Did we recover our Dailies/Healing Surges? If so, do we have time for a quick trip through the Hereafter before finding Clagoff?

Mallus wrote:

OOC: What kind of shape are we in? Did we get an extended rest? Did we recover our Dailies/Healing Surges? If so, do we have time for a quick trip through the Hereafter before finding Clagoff?

You didn't really have time for an extended rest, but for ease of use, I'll say you have dailies and healing surges recovered (since otherwise some of you do and those who didn't go to the Glossop estate didn't).

It's already late evening and the Hereafter is the other end of the Port, so a trip there before Clagoff would mean you only get to his house quite late at night, possibly after midnight.

shilsen wrote:

It's already late evening and the Hereafter is the other end of the Port, so a trip there before Clagoff would mean you only get to his house quite late at night, possibly after midnight.

All the better. Gives us a proper air of menace, and those of who know the meaning of the word "subtle" might be able to do some independant investigating.

OOC: Not to ruin the fun, but I suggest the PCs talk to Clagoff first (as we're in his district right now and it's getting late), see if he'll even consent to having a "play-off" with Treasure as the prize, and take it from there.

I updated the loot thread. I'll start up another thread over the weekend so we can continue with the madness on the forums.

And the new thread is up. Pop in and start posting.