Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After

The gargantuan demon who carried out the Count's execution drags a huge black-charred brazier onto the stage. A little rendered dragon fat, one of the most flammable oils in the world, splashes out onto the crowd, burning the spectators with its venomous sting. In the center of the bowl, nailed to a cross, is the faux Lady Kommarel.

The festival organzier, Aedile Kinzaant, comes out and gives a little speech about why her family began the event thousands of years ago, when they became annoyed by the petty demands for sacrifices from on of their local gods and decided to turn the tables on it. The name of that god is forgotten now, "As should they all be," she adds.

She introduces Maror, Charoset, Z'roa, and Fagin to formally present their sacrifice. Maror and Charoset use the occasion to tell the crowd about their newest business venture, a grand casino here in the Port of Brass, for which they are seeking investors.

Aedile Kinzaant invites the assembled crowd to offer up their most profane blasphemies to the false goddess, a task they take up with great excitement and vehemence. From his place on the stage, Fagin can't help but notice one old Tiefling whose heresies are louder and more vile than most: Barnum.

When the commotion finally dies down, a torch is carried out, which, Ms. Kinzaant announces, was lit personally by Emperor Orcus himself earlier today in a secret ceremony. She presents it to the family. The brothers yield the torch to their beloved sister, who in turn presents it to her husband. Fagin raises it to light the long, dripping rope that hangs from the brazier and suddenly the bowl goes up in massive flames.

The faux Lady Kommarel cries out in vulgar agony as she is engulfed in fire and quickly melted into a puddle of liquid gold in which floats a peculiar glittering of divine ash that is never fully burned away no matter how long it burns. Once it cools, it is broken up into five piece, one for each member of the family and a final piece for Aedile Kinzaant herself to be placed in her family's mausoleum of desecration.

As they hold up their glittering prizes, the crowd roars with enthusiasm.

Moments later, a messenger arrives, locating each of you. In the message, Cuulus urges you to return to the ship as soon as possible as he feels the Unforbidden should depart with all due haste.

"The Hells weren't at all what I expected" says Yatagan as the steamer trunks carrying his new equipment and gruesome souvenirs are bought aboard The Unforgiven. "Much less smiting and much better hospitality. Of course the justice errs on the side of brutality and paranoia, and some of the cuisine is simply an abomination... actually that's quite a lot like home, isn't it?"

Yatagan gives perdition a last lingering look. "Well, I'm sure I'll be returning before long."

Chakram bids the odd assortment of travelers goodbye at the Unforgiven. "With Count Orquiel dead and unable to hire anyone, which," she chuckles, "Aren't necessarily related states here, I have some ... business that I need to take care of here and no real reason to return to the Port. But if I do ever find my way there again, I'll make sure to look you all up. I get the feeling it would be ... entertaining."

When you get back to the ship, Captain Screwtape and Cuulus are having an argument on the deck.

"I'm begging you, Videka. Don't do this."

"You know that I have to," she tells him. "Yatagan was right. I need to find vengeance for my brother's death. And that means staying behind."

"They'll kill you."

"Maybe. But I can't sail away from my destiny anymore than you can yours." Captain Screwtape takes off her Captain's hat and places it on her first mate's head. "Have a safe trip, Captain Cuulus."

"I'm coming back for you, you know."

"Good." Captain Screwtape leans in and kisses him, a long, passionate kiss. After a minute or so, she pulls away from him and walks over to address you.

"Sir Yatagan, Mister Cadaveris, I realize that I will someday feel grateful to you for what you did today, so I thank you now, in anticipation of that moment. My brother Cliven was no traitor. He was loyal to the Hells, so loyal that he served on a ship carrying goods here just so that he could see our homeland from his ship, knowing he could never step foot there. One of his shipmates reported to me how he was kidnapped one night while they were in port here. That is why I undertook this dangerous voyage for Count Orquiel, so that I could investigate his disappearance. I was too late, but I won't stop searching for who did this to him, who made him play the patsy in this infernal scheme. I wish you safe passage back to the Port."

As she makes her way down the gangplank, you notice a carriage, drawn skeletal horses waiting on the docks. No sooner has Captain Screwtape passed by, then the door of the carriage springs open. Out stops Mister Magnacelsus, the flesh golem agent of The Charming Dead who you ran into as you were absconding with the pig god Kamapua back on the island of Nessus. He is dressed up in finery, but with a long warm coat. He clicks his walking stick three times on the gang plank and then begins ascending, as servants begin unloading luggage from the carriage. Amongst the servants carrying his luggage, Vox is disturbed to see Thrusty Robert, the undead mannequin, who waves as he passes by carrying a large valise.

Mister Magnacelsus nods and smiles at you as he passes by, walking right up to Captain Cuulus and handing him some papers.

"Greetings," he says, "as the Hells' new ambassador to The Port, I'll be taking the late Count Orquiel's cabins for the journey back. I trust you can make that happen. Or do I need to talk to that young lady who just left. I could send someone to collect her if you like."

He smiles widely, clearly enjoying himself.

"No," says a worried-looking Cuulus, glancing at the papers. "That won't be necessary. Everything seems to be in order here. I'll have someone show you to your rooms."

"Thank you, Captain," says Ambassador Magnacelsus. "Oh, and don't worry about avoiding that damned storm on the return voyage. I have the oddest feeling that it's no longer a problem."

gridley wrote:

I wish you safe passage back to the Port."

"Good luck, Captain Screwtape. If our paths should cross again, know that I will lend you whatever aid I can. Perhaps in the form of Dragonborn munitions. In the past they have proven most effective in exploding Infernal schemes."

Yatagan take the opportunity to wax philosophical. "Even the damned deserve justice, perhaps most of all."

Quote :

"Thank you, Captain," says Ambassador Magnacelsus. "Oh, and don't worry about avoiding that damned storm on the return voyage. I have the oddest feeling that it's no longer a problem."

"Pity. I should have liked the chance to bash it in the face."

"Gods above, and gods below, " Vox mutters sourly, "I do hate politics."

Is greatest evil known to mans, Pætros agrees, Should be adding to doctrine. Devil is for maybe making good martyr, but might be for confusing worshipers. Is not good habits for to be gettings into.

"You're actually making sense," Vox says, a little terrified by the very idea. "I need to get you out of my brain, dammit!"