Ethical Circus hijinks

Posts : 799 Join date : 2008-08-21

"Order of the Divine Porcine," Vox interjects, clearly proud of that little innovation.

Posts : 242 Join date : 2009-02-04

"Yes, we're very ecumenical." Lizzy says agitated.

Posts : 900 Join date : 2008-08-22

Odanais rolls his eyes at the state of the temple. The place had seemed rather grand and mysterious back when his mother's gardener used to take him there as a child. Now it was just so shabby.

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"C'mon Yatagan." Lizzy says through his teeth. "Did we come here for an interfaith kumbaya party or to kill something?"

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: "Exactly so, madame. We are the Elders of the Church of Treasure, as well as her first sworn knights."

Mariah simply inclines her head slightly at the comment, her gaze passing over the motley group.

Quote :: "We hope to change that. Bring a new era of cooperation and camaraderie to myriad true faiths of the Port. For example, we've already had a talk with the Eroded God and received the... copious blessings of the Dog."

"Yes, we shall lay gold and incen...no... myrhh... hmmm.... fireworks at the base of the god."

"That's good to hear," Mariah says with polite enthusiasm. "Nobody's brought ... um, fireworks here in a while. Please, follow me." She walks along the middle of the room till she is near the stylized dark orb, where she turns and heads for a door to the left, gesturing for the group to follow. Which means that she doesn't hear

overeddie wrote:: "C'mon Yatagan." Lizzy says through his teeth. "Did we come here for an interfaith kumbaya party or to kill something?"

If the League-members follow, Mariah leads them to a corridor which runs parallel to the main hall. Passing through a door to another room, she leads them down a staircase which ends in an antechamber and a closed door. Mariah touches the door and her lips move silently for a moment.

Then the door opens to reveal another, smaller hall, similar to the one above. Here only two rows of pews stand before a simple stone altar. There are two men in the room, dressed in dark robes, both of them kneeling in prayer. They face towards the altar and the thing floating above it - a sphere of complete darkness. Or, more precisely, of nothingness. It is not the opposite of light but simply its absence. As the League-members gaze on it, the impression is less of something they see and more of a blind, circular spot in the middle of their vision.

Vox finds the sight particularly eerie. Straddling both worlds as a shadar-kai, and having spent significant amounts of time on the Other Side, he knows that nothing truly dies but simply continues on in some form or another. This thing, however, is completely antithetical to that philosophy.

For a second Yatagan feels a sharp, lightly burning sensation inside his codpiece, where the crotch-god resides, as he gazes on the Orb.

"Behold!" says Mariah, "That-Which-Is-Not." The more perceptive members of the group notice her give a tiny shudder.

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overeddie wrote:: "Did we come here for an interfaith kumbaya party or to kill something?

"We came here to do justice" replies Yatagan in a stage whisper. "But these people seem harmless enough."

Quote :: "Behold!" says Mariah, "That-Which-Is-Not." The more perceptive members of the group notice her give a tiny shudder.

Yatagan gazes into the Abyss, and then says "Can I shoot a rocket into it? It's a sign of respect in our religion". Yatagan begins removing the last of his long rockets from his backpack.

While putting on an outward show, blessing the pyrotechnics in the name of Treasure, he silently prays to the god in his codpiece.

"Oh tiny Lord, give me a sign. Is this sad lot in need of smiting?"

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: Yatagan gazes into the Abyss, and then says "Can I shoot a rocket into it? It's a sign of respect in our religion". Yatagan begins removing the last of his long rockets from his backpack.

Mariah smiles and nods. "Yes - but please be very careful." She looks around and explains, "Introducing objects into That-Which-Is-Not seems to be very popular among worshipers, philosophers and other visitors. And children, which is why that door is never left open."

Quote :: While putting on an outward show, blessing the pyrotechnics in the name of Treasure, he silently prays to the god in his codpiece.

"Oh tiny Lord, give me a sign. Is this sad lot in need of smiting?"

Yatagan feels a much fainter burning sensation and gets the distinct impression that the crotch-god is just very, very uncomfortable in such close proximity to the Orb. And would very much like to leave its vicinity soon.

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

Yatagan goes to open his coin purse, realizes how light its grown, and then simply hands it over to Black Mariah. "Our offering to your temple. Now if you'll step back for a moment...". He carefully sets the rocket against a pew.

WHOOOOSH!!

"And our offering to Its Glorious Absence" declares Yatagan, pulling another name for the Sphere out of his cloaca. "Thank you for your hospitality, Black Mariah."

Yatagan says a prayer to the various gods near to his heart, and other organs. Then, with a glint of Draconic cunning visible in one scale-rimmed eye, he says "Perhaps we could help you further. Ours is a wealthy faith. Well, usually. Regardless, we are now hunted by an immortal assassin. Perhaps an arrangement...."

Yatagan lets the sentence trail off as he imagines tossing Amadeus Perigee into the That-Which-Is-Not.

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: Yatagan goes to open his coin purse, realizes how light its grown, and then simply hands it over to Black Mariah.

OOC: How much is he giving her? Anything out of the 1000 gp?

IC: "Thank you," says the priestess, accepting the purse. She not-so-surreptitiously weighs it in her hand, but doesn't open it.

Quote :: "Our offering to your temple. Now if you'll step back for a moment...". He carefully sets the rocket against a pew.

"Brothers!" Mariah calls out quickly and loudly, causing the two worshippers, who have ignored the newcomers thus far. They look up and then, at her rapid gestures, cover their heads.

Quote :: WHOOOOSH!!

The rocket hits the sphere and disappears instantly, leaving the dark and colorless substance completely untouched.

Quote :: "And our offering to Its Glorious Absence" declares Yatagan, pulling another name for the Sphere out of his cloaca. "Thank you for your hospitality, Black Mariah."

Yatagan says a prayer to the various gods near to his heart, and other organs. Then, with a glint of Draconic cunning visible in one scale-rimmed eye, he says "Perhaps we could help you further. Ours is a wealthy faith. Well, usually. Regardless, we are now hunted by an immortal assassin. Perhaps an arrangement...."

Yatagan lets the sentence trail off as he imagines tossing Amadeus Perigee into the That-Which-Is-Not.

OOC: That, again, is beautiful. This is why I never create plots. You do all the work for me!

IC: Black Mariah looks momentarily surprised, then curious and very interested. "That sounds ... interesting. Why don't we go upstairs and you can tell me more?" She turns and bows to the Orb, silently mouthing words, and then leads the group out.

A couple of minutes later, the group is crammed into a small meeting room upstairs. "So tell me," says Mariah, leaning back in her chair, "About this assassin and how you think we might be able to help." She smiles slightly, looking tired as she does so. "Though I think I can guess."

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shilsen wrote:: OOC: How much is he giving her? Anything out of the 1000 gp?

None of the 1000. Yatagan gives her the last of his personal money, say between 20-50 gp.

Quote :: "About this assassin and how you think we might be able to help." She smiles slightly, looking tired as she does so. "Though I think I can guess."

Yatagan favors her with an equally tired smile. "I imagine you must gets requests for this all the time. From the... criminal element. I'm sorry that I'm troubling you with such a sordid proposal, but Amadeus Perigee is an unusual foe. We have no idea why he wants us dead. Well, that's not so unusual... the thing is, Amadeus has been executed for his crimes more than once. But he doesn't stay dead. This suggests some form of divine ally."

Yatagan pauses a moment out of respect, fear, and a love of cheap dramatics (roughly in that order).

"We understand your Sphere eats the divine as well as anything else."

Posts : 138 Join date : 2008-08-27

Mallus wrote:: OOC: I'd like to take a moment and point out how lucky the Port is for not having a character like Atlatl Jones blundering around in it, who would, in this situation, be preparing to hurl the Box God into the Sphere of Annihilation, just to see what happens.

Yes, that's exactly the sort of thing he'd do, only with more blasphemy. He's probably have to insert the "crotch god" into the bloody crotch of a dead angel before pushing both into the Sphere.

Ahhh, I miss playing Atlatl. What glorious BS you let me get away with.

In front of the Sphere, Heyoka says, "I am one of the Hounds of Dog, a worshiper of Canis Invictus. May I anoint the dog with the blessed greetings of my Dog?" Then he starts unbuttoning his pants.

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Atlatl wrote:: In front of the Sphere, Heyoka says, "I am one of the Hounds of Dog, a worshiper of Canis Invictus. May I anoint the dog with the blessed greetings of my Dog?" Then he starts unbuttoning his pants.

"No!" says Mariah quickly and loudly, before modulating her tone somewhat. "Please do not do that. It would be ... a little disrespectful." Possibly thinking that's not enough, she adds, "But I appreciate the ... offer."

Mallus wrote:: Yatagan favors her with an equally tired smile. "I imagine you must gets requests for this all the time. From the... criminal element. I'm sorry that I'm troubling you with such a sordid proposal, but Amadeus Perigee is an unusual foe. We have no idea why he wants us dead. Well, that's not so unusual... the thing is, Amadeus has been executed for his crimes more than once. But he doesn't stay dead. This suggests some form of divine ally."

Yatagan pauses a moment out of respect, fear, and a love of cheap dramatics (roughly in that order).

"We understand your Sphere eats the divine as well as anything else."

Mariah looks a little surprised at the details, and when Yatagan stops, says carefully, "That is an ... interesting situation which you are facing. I ... might be willing to help you with it, as long as you can assure me that it would lead to no legal issues. Though I cannot see why anyone would be concerned about Amadeus Perigee if he is ... disposed of. Yes, I have heard of him and his unusual reputation, Sir Yatagan, but not because of any contact with criminals." She smiles wanly. "We do not get as many requests for use of the Orb as you may think - and we do not easily allow it. "

Mariah looks around at the group's members thoughtfully, and then asks, "But I might make an exception for such ... friendly neighbors, especially in a good cause. And I do not ask for money in return though," she sighs softly, "My temple could use some financial aid. People of your reputation and ability could probably help in more useful ways. I have heard that you are also adventurers with a reputation for bravery and unusual deeds. Tell me - do you ever travel into the Interior?"

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Vox smothers a nervous laugh at the very idea of his companions confronting their own psyches, but rapidly sobers at the thought of what might be awaiting himself....

"There's a first time for everything," he offers tentatively.

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

Atlatl wrote:: Ahhh, I miss playing Atlatl.

We will return to CITY --so you guys can finishing trashing it.

Quote :: "I am one of the Hounds of Dog, a worshiper of Canis Invictus."

That's lovely.

Quote :: May I anoint the dog with the blessed greetings of my Dog?" Then he starts unbuttoning his pants.

Whiz not into the Abyss!

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

Rolzup wrote:: "There's a first time for everything," he offers tentatively.

"So there is, Mr. Cadaveris! cries Yatagan happily. "You see, Black Mariah I must go into the Interior one day, to seek the release of the Dragon Within. I'd always though I'd be traveling alone, armored, as it were, solely by the strength of my faith, bravely facing the mighty, incoherent terrors that dwell inside the mind."

"But it would be wonderful to have my friends along for a little scouting trip beforehand!"

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"Please. The interior is nothing but a harmless boogieman. But how do we know this isn't some wild goose chase?"

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Mallus wrote:: "So there is, Mr. Cadaveris! cries Yatagan happily. "You see, Black Mariah I must go into the Interior one day, to seek the release of the Dragon Within. I'd always though I'd be traveling alone, armored, as it were, solely by the strength of my faith, bravely facing the mighty, incoherent terrors that dwell inside the mind."

"But it would be wonderful to have my friends along for a little scouting trip beforehand!"

"I see," says Mariah, looking pleased. "I wasn't going to ask you to do so just for me, but if you do go there sometime, I would like you to try and find something for me if you can." She hesitates and her expression becomes slightly harried but also hopeful. "I'm not ... completely sure what it is yet, but I have had some ... visions from That-Which-Is-Not. When I know what it is, I will tell you."

overeddie wrote:: "Please. The interior is nothing but a harmless boogieman. But how do we know this isn't some wild goose chase?"

Mariah frowns at this and says, a little sharply, "As I said, I wasn't asking you to do this. If you happen to ever go into the Interior, I only want to make a request for you to keep an eye out for ... something." She looks up at the ceiling, clearly calming herself, and then looks around at the group as a whole. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, of course."

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overeddie wrote:: "Please. The Interior is nothing but a harmless boogieman.

"Ah comrade, your materialism will lend us strength in that vast, trackless, angel-haunted place."

Quote :: "If it wouldn't be too much trouble, of course."

"Not at all... so we are agreed in principle? We can hurl our foe into the inky maw that is your god?"

After hammering out the details with Black Mariah, Yatagan asks the League, "Is there anything else to do aside from wait for Mr. Loach's informant?"

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Mallus wrote:: "Not at all... so we are agreed in principle? We can hurl our foe into the inky maw that is your god?"

"Sounds as though you have the plot of your second play, Yatigan."

Mallus wrote:: After hammering out the details with Black Mariah, Yatagan asks the League, "Is there anything else to do aside from wait for Mr. Loach's informant?"

"Enjoy a nice glass of wine in a room that doesn't smell of an enormous pig?"

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

Rolzup wrote:: "Sounds as though you have the plot of your second play, Yatigan."

"Assassins, by Sir Yatagan Fracas. Music by Master Odanais Dare... splendid!"

OOC: of course, this is just begging to have the opening night interrupted by an angry giant named Sondheim.

Quote :: "Enjoy a nice glass of wine in a room that doesn't smell of an enormous pig?"

Yatagan looks around for Penelope before stage-whispering to Vox. "That does have a certain appeal."

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Mallus wrote:: After hammering out the details with Black Mariah, Yatagan asks the League, "Is there anything else to do aside from wait for Mr. Loach's informant?"

"I should probably visit the Hereafter."

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: OOC: of course, this is just begging to have the opening night interrupted by an angry giant named Sondheim.

Hmm. *scribbles notes*

Quote :: "Enjoy a nice glass of wine in a room that doesn't smell of an enormous pig?"

Quote :: Yatagan looks around for Penelope before stage-whispering to Vox. "That does have a certain appeal."

Quote :: "I should probably visit the Hereafter."

After taking a short break to visit a more upscale tavern than the ones they live in, and having (OOC: presumably) pointed out to Odanais that (a) it will take a number of hours for him to visit the Hereafter and (b) nobody's going to be loaning him any more money for it (OOC: Visits to the Gossamer Pillow are not cheap), the adventurers wander back to the Hall.

Waiting there for them is a tall half-elf with a long-suffering expression, which may be explained by the fact that he is seated between Asarlai and Treasure. The returning League-members remember having seen him outside Decimus Loach's office. The half-elf rises with a relieved expression as he sees them and quickly hands over a sealed envelope, saying, "This is from Mr. Loach". Within is an unsigned letter which begins without preamble and says:

Quote :: The illegal tournament is occurring tomorrow night, in the Fang and Blade arena. The main arena is closed due to Lord Dandy and a second, underground, arena will be used. Entrance will probably be through the Mermaid tavern next door, which has underground access to the arena.

Clagoff has been spending large amounts of money and is covering large bets on multiple fight results. If the results go his way, he's going to make huge amounts of money, but if not (and he'll need to be very lucky) he's going to be bankrupt. I suspect something fishy is going on.

Some extremely well-connected people are expected to be at the tournament.

The messenger waits until the letter has been read and then asks, "Is there any reply? I was told to check but not to expect one."

OOC: Some of the PCs will know that the Fang and Blade is one of the oldest and largest arenas in the Ethical Circus. It's located right off the docks, which made transport of creatures brought in by ship easy and why it is well-known for putting on fights featuring some of the largest creatures displayed at the Ethical Circus.

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shilsen wrote:: (b) nobody's going to be loaning him any more money for it (OOC: Visits to the Gossamer Pillow are not cheap)

Yatagan would give Odanais money for ghost whores from the 1000 gp, if he asked. Wait... Yatagan doesn't have the 1000 gold, he's not good with sums. Doesn't Odanais have it?

Quote :: "Is there any reply? I was told to check but not to expect one."

"Deliver our thanks and the blessings of the Miracle Pig". After the half-elf departs, Yatagan says, "As strange as this sounds... let us go now to the authorities".

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I've added some more rules to the House Rules thread, which is in the Characters section. Pop in and take a look.

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: "As strange as this sounds... let us go now to the authorities".

The trip to Lord Dandy's offices is fairly uneventful, and reasonably quick since the group has now gone back and forth between the Stagger and the Ethical Circus often enough to have worked out the fastest routes to get there.

It takes some time for a meeting to be arranged, but once the letter from Loach is sent up with an accompanying note, the League-members find themselves again with Lord Dandy, this time with the bailiffs Bradamante and Guyon present.

"If this is reliable information," Dandy begins without preamble, "Then it provides a great opportunity and a problem. An opportunity to nail Clagoff and many of his associates at one go. And the problem that it's a very short time to organize an effective raid on the tournament. Even if I put every available bailiff on it."

He studies the group keenly for a moment, and then says, "I'm guessing you will want to be involved. Do you have any preferences for how we use you? Or any suggestions, for that matter?"