Ethical Circus hijinks

Since Ed and John weren't there, here's a recap of last session and where we ended:

The PCs entered the Golden Golem Gambling Hall and after a "brilliant" plan (part of which involved dressing Yatagan in a dress with a blonde wig and him using the Crotch-God to successfully blowing on someone's dice for luck), they met Decimus Loach and learned a good deal from him. Apparently he had recently sold fire beetles to Dagobert Hax and had heard rumors of a secret - and very large - blood fighting event being organized by Clagoff to recoup his losses from the play (and betting on it). It seems Loach is a business rival of Clagoff's and probably stands to gain from his loss/elimination.

The PCs headed back to the Hall (after Loach said he'd send them information the next morning about the secret event), having promised the bailiffs they had with them to meet early next evening. On the way, they were attacked by a gang of ruffians, a number of whom were the bunch Lizzy had met in the bar. The PCs trounced them and took one captive for questioning.

While continuing on with the unconscious ruffian, they were attacked again, this time by Matra Chorokh and a half-dozen other orcs. After a very civil discussion, the two parties began to fight and the PCs won a very hard-fought battle, slaying all the orcs. They then proceeded back to the Hall, where they questioned the prisoner and learned he'd been hired by a tiefling (whom he'd never seen before) to attack the PCs. The prisoner also failed to say "I repent" in time and was executed.

And there we have it.

So, are the PCs doing anything else this night or settling in and waiting for morning?

shilsen wrote:

While continuing on with the unconscious ruffian, they were attacked again, this time by Matra Chorokh and a half-dozen other orcs. After a very civil discussion....

"And what," Vox asks warily, "Was the nature of this discussion? Philosophy? Religion? An exchange of muffin recipies, perchance? This sort of thing could be relevant, Yatigan.

"By-the-by, nobody's showed up to murder you yet. But the night is young!"

Rolzup wrote:

"And what," Vox asks warily, "Was the nature of this discussion? Philosophy? Religion? An exchange of muffin recipies, perchance? This sort of thing could be relevant, Yatigan.

"By-the-by, nobody's showed up to murder you yet. But the night is young!"

OOC: Vox and Lizzy were there for the fight, so Vox would know about it. Matra was quite open about the fact that they'd been dispatched by Clagoff to capture the PCs (they did plan to take them alive). It's likely that the PCs would have been used in the underground tournament.

It's a shame my new comrades didn't heed my warning, such as it was. I really dislike having to kill good working men.

overeddie wrote:

I really dislike having to kill good working men.

"T'is a pity." Yatagan wipes the blood from his right gauntlet and then checks it for broken teeth.

Turning to Vox he says "I haven't had the chance to congratulate you on your splendid stratagem, Mr. Cadaveris... well done! In forging the challenge to Perigee you have freed me from he discomfiting bounds of honor. We Dragonborn honor the letter and not the spirit, which, in this case, is a letter I did not pen so let the ambuscades begin!

Yatagan pauses for a moment to survey the hall.

"We need to turn this place into a deathtrap. Poison the bottles. Set a deadfall over the door. Disguise Heyoka as a vagrant and Penelope as a statue of the Goddess of Modesty, armed with her incongruous bow! Let every step Amadeus Perigee takes in this place threaten murder."

"I wonder if there's time to dig a pit in the common room?"

Mallus wrote:

Turning to Vox he says "I haven't had the chance to congratulate you on your splendid stratagem, Mr. Cadaveris... well done! In forging the challenge to Perigee you have freed me from he discomfiting bounds of honor. We Dragonborn honor the letter and not the spirit, which, in this case, is a letter I did not pen so let the ambuscades begin!

"I had a feeling that you'd approve," Vox replies with a straight face. "And worry not about the 'working' men that you've murdered...there's plenty of jobs waiting for them on the other side."

Mallus wrote:

"I wonder if there's time to dig a pit in the common room?"

"That will make it easier to maintain a regular clientele."

Mallus wrote:

"I wonder if there's time to dig a pit in the common room?"

"There is a spell I used to know," says Odanais, smiling wistfully, "one favored by dear sister Elizee. It is called The Phantasm Chasm. It invades the subjects mind, causing them to fully believe they are tumbling down a vast pit. It can kill a lesser foe, but in this case may at least render the assassin briefly harmless. It's still in my spellbook should you think it useful, although I rarely prepare it, favoring as I do the spell of Sleepiness."

gridley wrote:

It invades the subjects mind, causing them to fully believe they are tumbling down a vast pit. It can kill a lesser foe, but in this case may at least render the assassin briefly harmless."

"Most excellent Mr. Dare. We need but a moment to stab, slash, pierce, poison, and immolate him. And digging a pit in his mind would be much easier than digging one in our inn."

OOC: So, I'm a little hazy on what our legal obligations are as good citizens of the Port. When we get attacked by people and deal with them like the dogs they are, are we supposed to inform some sort of authorities? Or does this sort of thing just go on so often that it's not an issue?

gridley wrote:

OOC: So, I'm a little hazy on what our legal obligations are as good citizens of the Port. When we get attacked by people and deal with them like the dogs they are, are we supposed to inform some sort of authorities? Or does this sort of thing just go on so often that it's not an issue?

Ideally you would let the local magistrate (in your case, Stefan Petard) know about it. But much of the time people don't do so in the Port because the constant shuffling of magistrates from district to district by the governor gets in the way of many cases getting followed up thoroughly. In short, while there is a fair amount of law and order (well, maybe just law) in the Port, there are a lot of gray areas to exploit, hence the proliferation of mercenaries and criminals.

"I feel obliged to point out a single flaw in your plan, Yatigan: Perigee is neither blind nor stupid. He shan't walk into an obvious trap. I'm hoping that appealing to his vanity (and assaulting his pride) will make him leap before he looks...but I wouldn't want to depend upon that."

Vox shrugs. "Frankly, I'd be inclined to post a proper challenge upon any blank walls we can find, daring him to face you in open combat. Force his hand, make him show up to try and kill you honestly, instead of with a knife in the dark.

"In fair combat, surely you can take him down. You have gods on your side. Of course, according to rumor, so does he...."

"So is Yatigan the only one who gets a crack at this Perigree fellow? I wouldn't mind a few whacks myself."

After detailed (and as usual, highly divergent) discussions about what to do if/when Amadeus Perigee accepts Yatagan's "challenge", the members of the group proceed to rest. To be on the safe side, watches are taken and security (mainly consisting of a crotchety old warlock with a bad back, a captive dark creeper, a halfling bartender of indeterminate age, and a possibly divine pig) is at a heightened state.

The night, however, passes relatively peacefully, broken only intermittently by the soothing sounds of Treasure snoring in her makeshift sty and the melodious twanging of Penelope's bow as she notices a bug on the ceiling.

In the morning, the group reconvenes in what was once Artichoke's room and has now been converted into a meeting room, Agenbite having finally persuaded them that their numbers are making running a business difficult if they sit around the common room (especially when they discuss killing people). Plans have to be discussed for visiting (semi-)righteous vengeance on Clagoff, dealing with Amadeus Perigee, finding better living quarters, maybe putting on the sequel to The Play (as it's now known in the Port), possibly fomenting a proletarian (or at least goblinoid) revolt, and other such matters.


OOC: Feel free to continue the conversation about Perigee (or anything else for that matter). I just figured I should move thing along a bit while you do so.

overeddie wrote:

"So is Yatigan the only one who gets a crack at this Perigree fellow? I wouldn't mind a few whacks myself."

"Not at all. I'll kill anyone who tries to kill me. Or my friends. Or anyone else nearby. Or who gets in the way of me killing someone. Or who interferes with the family business."

"We shifters are very equalitarnian that way, don'tchaknow" Heyoka says, mispronouncing a word he once heard Artichoke use.

"I do feel bad about killing what'sherface though. She was really nice, aside from the whole "sworn to kill us" thing. Maybe we should visit her on the other side, and give her our condolences on her death. Maybe bring a small gift. Vox, do the dead appreciate opium-laced tea?"

Atlatl wrote:

I'll kill anyone who tries to kill me. Or my friends. Or anyone else nearby. Or who gets in the way of me killing someone. Or who interferes with the family business."

"You are a pure and noble soul, Heyoka" says Yatagan.

Quote :

"Maybe we should visit her on the other side, and give her our condolences on her death. Maybe bring a small gift."

"Splendid idea! I wonder if she likes brownies?"

Yatagan then addresses the rest of the League. "But first, let us put the day to use while we wait for Mr. Loach's information. Idle hands are bourgeoisie playthings (apparently Yatagan has been talking to Lizzie). We have a thousand pieces of gold to spend. Unless there is some enchanted armament you have your eye on, let's find our Treasure a temple!"

"We can start with that temple to Orb of Nothing two blocks from here. Perhaps they need smiting? That would save us the downpayment."

overeddie wrote:

"So is Yatigan the only one who gets a crack at this Perigree fellow? I wouldn't mind a few whacks myself."

"Fear not, comrade" says Yatagan cheerily "we're going ambush Perigee en masse, if he can't help it."

So are you guys heading to the temple of That Which is Not? In case it matters, you don't have to leave anyone at the bar for Loach's message, since Asarlai is there to receive it if it arrives while you're gone.

shilsen wrote:

So are you guys heading to the temple of That Which is Not?

Yes. To see if any unwilling victims are being sacrificed to the Sphere, like Yatagan heard. Or thinks he heard. Basically it's a social call from unemployed adventurers.

Then on to scouting other nearby locations for a suitable temple.

Unless, of course, someone in the League wants to go shopping at Five Fathoms Market.

"I was actually brought up in the Voiditarian Annihilism faith," says Odanais, recalling his youthful awe of That Which Is Not and the oddly silent hymns whose every sound was absorbed immediately into the Sphere no matter how loudly they were sung. "I wonder if old Reverend Kant still presides there."

gridley wrote:

"I was actually brought up in the Voiditarian Annihilism faith," says Odanais, recalling his youthful awe of That Which Is Not and the oddly silent hymns whose every sound was absorbed immediately into the Sphere no matter how loudly they were sung.

OOC: Very nice!

Quote :

"I wonder if old Reverend Kant still presides there."

OOC: And oh so horrible!

IC: With the group, or at least it's more proactive/talkative members, having decided to visit the temple of That-Which-Is-Not, the League departs the Hall and heads to the part of the Stagger known as Faith Street. This area, consisting actually of three to four interconnected streets, is the area where temples to the gods of the Port tend to congregate, or at least those gods whose worshippers are not upscale enough to dwell in better districts.

The cult of That-Which-Is-Not occupies a small two-storeyed building, its windows painted over with black paint to block off all light into the interior. There seems to be no traffic going in and out as the adventurers approach, and the two bored-looking young men sitting near the doorway and talking in hushed voices look up with evident surprise at their approach. They quickly rise and the taller, a pale young man with dark eyeshadow, black fingernails, and far too much reliance on black as a fashion statement, clears his throat and intones gravely, "Welcome to the Church of That-Which-Is-Not! Here lies the Nothingness that is at the Heart of All!"

There is a dramatic pause, which quickly turns into awkwardness, and he finally says, "Um, how may I help you?"

shilsen wrote:

"Um, how may I help you?"

"We come to pay our respects to the No-Thing" says Yatagan, employing a term for the holy sphere that he once read in a piece of ecclesiastically-minded graffiti. "We are seekers... of a kind". The Dragonborn makes a point of tapping his purse. Musical sounds of lucre spill forth.

Mallus wrote:

"We come to pay our respects to the No-Thing" says Yatagan, employing a term for the holy sphere that he once read in a piece of ecclesiastically-minded graffiti. "We are seekers... of a kind". The Dragonborn makes a point of tapping his purse. Musical sounds of lucre spill forth.

"Oh." The novice looks uncertain for a moment and then his face brightens at the sound of money. "Worthy visitors and seekers after the truth," he intones a little too quickly to be as ponderous as seems to be the aim, "Are always welcome. Enter. Please?"

He leads the group into a prayer hall, consisting of a number of wooden pews facing up to an altar above which a stylized, painted black sphere hangs. The place is deserted. After asking them to wait, the youth scurries off. He returns shortly afterward with an older woman, though only comparatively so, since she must be in her late thirties at most. Unlike the youth, she is dressed in normal clothing, if on the severe side, and has no makeup on, despite the dark circles under her eyes.

Her voice does have a certain gravitas belying her age, though it is tinged with tiredness. "Greetings, strangers," she says, "I am Black Mariah, high priestess of That-Which-Is-Not. I believe you are here to view the Orb?" She glances around the group, her gaze lingering on the armory which the adventurers carry openly with them. "May I ask - why?"

OOC: I'd like to take a moment and point out how lucky the Port is for not having a character like Atlatl Jones blundering around in it, who would, in this situation, be preparing to hurl the Box God into the Sphere of Annihilation, just to see what happens.

shilsen wrote:

"May I ask - why?"

"We're neighbors as well the proprietors of a new religion. We thought we should pay a visit. Witness your public rites, make an offering. Seemed like the... polite thing to do" says Yatagan sweetly.

Mallus wrote:

OOC: I'd like to take a moment and point out how lucky the Port is for not having a character like Atlatl Jones blundering around in it, who would, in this situation, be preparing to hurl the Box God into the Sphere of Annihilation, just to see what happens.

Duly noted. Excuse me while I go off and offer thanks.

Quote :

"We're neighbors as well the proprietors of a new religion. We thought we should pay a visit. Witness your public rites, make an offering. Seemed like the... polite thing to do" says Yatagan sweetly.

"A new religion?" asks Mariah, frowning in puzzlement. Then her expression clears and she says, "Oh - you must be the Pig peop...," before realizing belatedly how that sounds and switching more or less smoothly to, "I mean, the Temple of the Pig, or ... er ... Treasure, I believe is the name? Right?"

Perhaps deciding that leaving the question rhetorical is better, she continues on without waiting for an answer, bowing deeply and saying, "I appreciate the courtesy, especially since it is not as common among worshippers of the various faiths of the City as one would like. You are doubly welcome here. As," she hesitates for just a moment, "Is your kind offering. We, as you can see, are a poor church. You may give it to me here, if you wish, or leave it at the Orb, if you prefer. Would you like to see It now?"

shilsen wrote:

"I mean, the Temple of the Pig, or ... er ... Treasure, I believe is the name? Right?"

"Exactly so, madame. We are the Elders of the Church of Treasure, as well as her first sworn knights."

Quote :

"I appreciate the courtesy, especially since it is not as common among worshippers of the various faiths of the City as one would like."

"We hope to change that. Bring a new era of cooperation and camaraderie to myriad true faiths of the Port. For example, we've already had a talk with the Eroded God and received the... copious blessings of the Dog."

Quote :

"You may give it to me here, if you wish, or leave it at the Orb, if you prefer.

"Yes, we shall lay gold and incen...no... myrhh... hmmm.... fireworks at the base of the god."