the plot thickens....

Having returned from his rabble-rousing activities, Lizzy joined Fagin at the house in Goblintown. They descended into the hole and located two of their companions, Paetros and Yatagan, unconscious and seemingly unwakeable. There was no sign of Artichoke and Penelope. Working together they located and disabled a poison gas trap rigged to the door (by orphan proxy of course) and entered to find a sort of makeshift dungeon, wherein two prisoners hung from manacles, one goblin and one eladrin. They battled the two chain-wielding mechanical guardians until one was destroyed. The second promptly sped away to warn its master, however, an odd sideways glance from Fagin's cat seemed to cause it to stumble on the wooden plank. Lizzy ran up and chopped through the plank with his axe, sending the guardian down into the chasm where it landed on a ledge only to be finished off by Fagin's methodical magics.

The goblin prisoner, Pogsley, explained how he'd broken in to rob the place only to be taken out of by the ooze. Lizzy invited the energetic thief to be his new sidekick and first soldier in his red shirt army.

The eladrin prisoner was pleased when Fagin suggested that he and Lizzy were hired by his family to rescue him. However, when forcing the weary prisoner to sign a document declaring that he had indeed been rescued, Fagin was shocked to see that the prisoner signed his name as "Brinjinn Hobs."

Brinjinn explained that Bosslady Fixer had changed him to an Eladrin presumably as punishment for his part in her abduction. He said that when the goblin workers had brought the unearthed warforged to the attention of his former engineering professor, Philomath Prezenzo, they purchased the nearby properties and begun excavating the ruins of what appeared to be a lost underground Dragonborn city. At one point during their difficult labor Professor Prezenzo mentioned wishing he had a marvelous tool created centuries ago by one of the greatest Dragonborn engineers: a living machine with glittering gold skin and the power to transmute matter. They called it the Alchemical Assistant.

Brinjinn realized that he was describing Bosslady Fixer. That's when they hatched their plan to abduct the goddess from the eladrin.

However, Brinjinn's loyalty to Prezenzo ended when the old professor started talking about using the city's massive engines to bring it back to the surface, which would destroy not just Goblintown and the Shambles, but large sections of the Hush, the Quadrille, and the Stagger as well. After turning on Prezenzo, he was imprisoned there.

As he is speaking, Yatagan and Paetros begin to awaken from their slumber. The others quickly fill them in on what's happened.

Yatagan awakes from his magical coma in mid-sentence.

"... was ridiculous of Artichoke to think the jar-brain's powers might have a lingering effect. Why it could produce no more than a brief change in mood, no match for our indomitable faith. Why I say Pætros sometimes I think his bald head houses a cowards..."

He stops.

"Ummm, where is Artichoke... and Penelope? Do you recognize this chamber? Oh, hello Lizzie and Mr. Fagin. How did you get... wherever we are? Is that an Eladrin?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Later, Yatagan listens intently as a explanations mostly go over his head. He then says "A danger to the Stagger you say! The Divine Sty must be protected at all costs! This is Church Knight business, and I declare our first Crusade against this Prozenzo fellow and his engines of unholiness!"

A pause.

"Wait, these engines wouldn't happen to be rockets, would they? Ancient Dragonborn rockets?!" Yatagan squeals with glee. "That would be splendid! Regardless, they belong in safer and wiser hands. Like ours."

Another pause.

"And we must return the Alchemical Assistant to her rightful place. Once we decree where that is, of course."

OOC: before Yatagan says 'She belongs in a museum', I should ask --are there Dragonborn museums? Your call, Steve.

After a few minutes of what passes for thought, Yatagan asks Brinjinn, "Mr. Hobs, does the gold woman have to touch the object she transforms? We find ourselves in the thick of an upcoming... class struggle... and you never know when the ability to, say, transmute all the gold coins in the Port into pork buns might come in handy."

Pætros listens to the tale with a look of growing delight. "Is wonderful! Apocalyptic! Is hell rising from depths of earth, is false god, is sounding like fire and brimstone even! Is to be making great gospel, putting asses in seats and cash in baskets. Could not be asking for better news!

He pauses, stoking his mustache. "Is being sure should being preventing? Power of spectacle, not to be underestimated. But is to be costing lives of many potential converts, so is being bad side as well...."

The Porcophant sighs. "Preventing apocalypse is being good too, am supposing. Not as good, but is good enough. Must save world noisily, though. Is no point if am not being known to all and sundry."

Mallus wrote:

OOC: before Yatagan says 'She belongs in a museum', I should ask --are there Dragonborn museums? Your call, Steve.

Yatagan has heard that there is a museum of Dragonborn engineering in the Hush, but he's never been to it.

Mallus wrote:

After a few minutes of what passes for thought, Yatagan asks Brinjinn, "Mr. Hobs, does the gold woman have to touch the object she transforms? We find ourselves in the thick of an upcoming... class struggle... and you never know when the ability to, say, transmute all the gold coins in the Port into pork buns might come in handy."

"I believe some sort of touching is required," says Brinjinn, "but there's a lot about her that I don't know."

Rolzup wrote:

"But is to be costing lives of many potential converts, so is being bad side as well...."

"Not to mention Treasure's mortal residence in stately Swine Manor. Now if the epicenter of the apocalypse were going to be on the other side of town, say under the rich capitalist oppressors in the Sway of Medallion --Yatgan gives Lizzie a 'claws up'--- that would be a different. Or should an ancient engine tear the Eladrin Cathedral asunder, thus liberating a misappropriated egg of the divine which absolutely does not belong to the pointy-eared folk, that would also be splendid!

Quote :

"Preventing apocalypse is being good too, am supposing. Not as good, but is good enough. Must save world noisily, though. Is no point if am not being known to all and sundry."

"Not to worry, your Holiness. We shall save the Port from this hidden danger in the loudest, least subtle manner possible!"

gridley wrote:

"I believe some sort of touching is required," says Brinjinn, "but there's a lot about her that I don't know."

"Perhaps it's for the best. Turning the Port's currency into tasty treats might have some unforeseen consequences. Now Brinjinn, which way to Prezenzo's lair? I'm assuming he has a lair nearby, having cast himself as this poor play's ultimate villain."

Mallus wrote:

"Perhaps it's for the best. Turning the Port's currency into tasty treats might have some unforeseen consequences. Now Brinjinn, which way to Prezenzo's lair? I'm assuming he has a lair nearby, having cast himself as this poor play's ultimate villain."

"Yes," says Brinjinn, looking at the next tunnel. "I think I know where we can find him. Shall I lead you?"

gridley wrote:

Shall I lead you?"

"Tell me first, Mr. Hobs. What would you see done with the not-quite goddess? You stole her from the Eladrin, but it would seem their claim to her is rather weak. Your kind, not to mention your father, want her for their own, but the Eladrin are threatening to release a storm of biting gnomes. I imagine even some of my kind might seek possession of her, since she is one of our historical treasures.

"Though personally, I find fetishizing our old trinkets to be a distraction from the more worthy goal of Whole Body Apotheosis and the liberation of the Dragon Within."

Mallus wrote:

gridley wrote:

Shall I lead you?"

"Tell me first, Mr. Hobs. What would you see done with the not-quite goddess? You stole her from the Eladrin, but it would seem their claim to her is rather weak. Your kind, not to mention your father, want her for their own, but the Eladrin are threatening to release a storm of biting gnomes. I imagine even some of my kind might seek possession of her, since she is one of our historical treasures.

"Though personally, I find fetishizing our old trinkets to be a distraction from the more worthy goal of Whole Body Apotheosis and the liberation of the Dragon Within."

"I'm not sure really. I mean, I'd like my father and fellow goblins to be happy, but now that I know she's not really a goddess, the whole thing seems kind of like a cruel joke."

Brinjinn sighs. "As for your people, Professor Prezenzo says that the Dragonborn who knew of the alchemical assistant were mostly destroyed by the Tieflings. He believes that he's the only one who still remembers that it even existed."

"Wait... did you say Gnomes?" asks Brinjinn. "That's bad news! Is there any way to stop them?"

gridley wrote:

"I'm not sure really. I mean, I'd like my father and fellow goblins to be happy, but now that I know she's not really a goddess, the whole thing seems kind of like a cruel joke."

"As it so happens, we are the purveyors of a new, true, and up-and-coming faith that welcomes goblinkind. In fact, just this morning our holy Porcophant made two fine young goblins into apostles!"

Quote :

"Wait... did you say Gnomes?" asks Brinjinn. "That's bad news! Is there any way to stop them?"

"We could return the alchemical assistant to the Eladrin... but it's not really theirs, is it? Also, I am troubled by your description of it as 'living'. The Eladrin would keep her locked up in the cathedral, a prisoner. I'll have no part of consigning a living being to bondage, goddess or not. Is it out the question to ask her what she wants?

Besides, I have noticed the Eladrin have a tendency to lock up and worship entities which do not belong to them. Such as the egg which contains my future ascendant self. Something must be done to break them of that habit."

"How about would a gnome attack be? Couldn't we just smite them?"

Mallus wrote:

"We could return the alchemical assistant to the Eladrin... but it's not really theirs, is it? Also, I am troubled by your description of it as 'living'. The Eladrin would keep her locked up in the cathedral, a prisoner. I'll have no part of consigning a living being to bondage, goddess or not. Is it out the question to ask her what she wants?

"I'm not exactly sure. Professor Prezenzo speaks of her as though she's a simply mechanical device partially malfunctioning due to centuries of neglect. But.... she says strange things... acts bizarrely... more like a madwoman than a machine."

Mallus wrote:

"How about would a gnome attack be? Couldn't we just smite them?"

"Few of the magistrates show much concern for Goblintown. A few years ago, a serial killer preyed on the citizens, killing nearly forty Goblins, and not a thing was done about it for months, despite my father's best attempt to publicize it. And that was just one gnome. Dozens more would have died if not for Magistrate Scatter. Although he was overseeing The Gaze at the time, he hired two private investigators to track down the Goblintown Killer."

gridley wrote:

"I'm not sure really. I mean, I'd like my father and fellow goblins to be happy, but now that I know she's not really a goddess, the whole thing seems kind of like a cruel joke."

Religion is worse than a cruel joke, it is a tool of oppression--unless it is the true pig-religion that is.

overeddie wrote:

gridley wrote:

"I'm not sure really. I mean, I'd like my father and fellow goblins to be happy, but now that I know she's not really a goddess, the whole thing seems kind of like a cruel joke."

Religion is worse than a cruel joke, it is a tool of oppression--unless it is the true pig-religion that is.

OOC: Get with the True Pig!

gridley wrote:

OOC: Get with the True Pig!

OOC: The Christ-Swine.

I like these new theological developments. Treasure is the G-LD's sacrificial pig, sent to the Port to be consumed by the oppressed proletariat masses. Her sacrament is the eating of golden port buns -- the Transfatsubstantiation! Which foretells the literal eating of the Port's bourgeoisie by her cult followers.

This couldn't have worked out better if we planned it, instead of pulling it out of asses.