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 The Return of the Unforgiven

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shilsen

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Tue Mar 01, 2011 6:01 pm

I'll let the others weigh in before responding, but here's a little info first...

Mallus wrote:
Yatagan prays for strength of arms and mouth --using Wrath of the Gods, followed by Befriend.

Befriend works, since it's affecting your own ability, but you don't have line of effect to Roxy and Pogsley until you get out of the wagon and get around to them. The wagon's essentially just a large and long wooden box with doors to exit it at the rear. Considering it's big enough to carry all of you and Kamapua, I'll say it's a good 15 feet long. I'll presume Yatagan's opening the doors at the back and speaking as he descends to the ground.
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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:55 am

shilsen wrote:
The wagon's essentially just a large and long wooden box with doors to exit it at the rear.
OOC: I was picturing it being covered wagon from an American western. True Shit or some such...

In that case, I'll ask Fagin and Vox to join me at the front of the wagon. I'll wait until then to use WotG. I have to cast it on Pogsley -- he's our heavy-hitter!

Quote :
I'll presume Yatagan's opening the doors at the back and speaking as he descends to the ground.
OOC: oh yes, that's suitably dramatic.
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Rolzup

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:16 am

Quote :
Inside the wagon, Kamapua gives a disgruntled snort and looks at the Swynod with his deep red piggy eyes. "So how many people want you dead?"
"I'm fairly sure that there's someone out there who wants us alive," Vox protests as he gets to his feet. "Probably because they'd like to torture us before they kill us...but I like to see the glass a being half-full."
Quote :
"Ask yourselves, is it worth it? Really?"
Vox smiles, and waves to the crowd. "For the record, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a fugitive from justice." He edges away from Yatigan, displaying his empty hands, and scans for the nearest patch of shadow.

"Really, there's no need for violence. We're returning to our headquarters, as peacefully as you could ask. If you're here to escort us, we're delighted to have your the company."

OOC: Diplomacy 21


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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:16 am

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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:32 am

OOC: Yatagan will use WotG while Vox is talking, before he fades away.

Also, forgot Diplomacy roll: 46! (48 if you count Vox's action as Aid Another).





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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:32 am

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:42 am

Mallus wrote:
OOC: Yatagan will use WotG while Vox is talking, before he fades away.

OOC: He's not going anywhere. Yet.
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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:43 am

Mallus wrote:
OOC: Yatagan will use WotG while Vox is talking, before he fades away.

Also, forgot Diplomacy roll: 46! (48 if you count Vox's action as Aid Another).




"Yeah," says Pogsley. "Bouzhees need to chill."


Diplomacy check (aid another): 16


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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:43 am

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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:49 am

OOC: Yatagan's mouth is like a Hattori Hanzo sword.

"If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be bullshitted."
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shilsen

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:10 am

Mallus wrote:
OOC: I was picturing it being covered wagon from an American western. True Shit or some such...

Hah! Not a fan of the movie, I presume?

Quote :
In that case, I'll ask Fagin and Vox to join me at the front of the wagon. I'll wait until then to use WotG. I have to cast it on Pogsley -- he's our heavy-hitter!


Lizzy too, I presume, who's there even if Ed isn't checking stuff here.

Speaking of Pogsley, did you want to run him during the fight, Steve? It'd mean extra stuff for you to track besides Roxy, so it might be better off treating him as a "flavor goblin".

Rolzup wrote:
"I'm fairly sure that there's someone out there who wants us alive," Vox protests as he gets to his feet. "Probably because they'd like to torture us before they kill us...but I like to see the glass a being half-full."

Very Happy

Mallus wrote:
In his gleaming armor adorned with a bright red cross, which, coincidentally enough, is the symbol used by archers in certain parts of the Port in place of the bulls-eyes...

Beautiful touch!

Quote :
"Let us not be hasty" booms the paladin with ingratiating menace. "Do you really want to stand in our way? We've beaten Dagon's spawn, outwitted demons in the City of Brass, killed immortals with abandon in Abaddon, why some of us have even been greased and fired out of a cannon *into* the plains of Avernus and lived to tell the tale!"

"Ask yourselves, is it worth it? Really?"

Rolzup wrote:
Vox smiles, and waves to the crowd. "For the record, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a fugitive from justice." He edges away from Yatigan, displaying his empty hands, and scans for the nearest patch of shadow.

"Really, there's no need for violence. We're returning to our headquarters, as peacefully as you could ask. If you're here to escort us, we're delighted to have your the company."

Yatagan's booming, yet almost supernaturally persuasive, tones seem to have somewhat of an effect, the nearest eladrin and elves--who had readied wands and pulled back on bowstrings as he emerged--hesitating as he speaks. Pale brows furrow slightly and mild concern appears in lavender eyes. Some of the fey turn and glance towards the one who appears to be their leader as he steps towards the wagon. Clearly distracted, they don't appear to be paying attention to Vox either, nor do they intervene as Yatagan and the others begin to congregate around Roxy's seat.

The staff-wielding eladrin seems less affected by the dragonborn's eloquence, but his tone is milder as he replies, walking toward the wagon. "Ah, Sir Yatagan Fracas, I believe. Unfortunately, we have accepted a commission which makes this situation ... worth it, as you say," he smiles slightly, "Though perhaps not for you. You have purloined, I believe, multiple deities belonging to my employers, which I am required to recover. Most important of all, the lady Kommerel. Is she in the wagon? And if so, will you hand her over peacefully?"

The eladrin raises his free hand quickly. "Before you answer, know this. I have also been promised a considerable sum of money for your heads. I'm tempted to forgo that if you hand over the deities right now, or perhaps even just Lady Kommerel, so I sincerely hope you won't answer in the negative to either of my questions. And," he says, evidently still not being done, "We were informed of your coming. We knew who and how many you are. We are very well-prepared to take you down. Trust me - you don't want to do this."

As he stops talking and looks expectantly at Yatagan, his followers regain their focus and raise their weapons and wands again. Also, those in the Swynod with keener hearing hear a couple of the eladrin wand-wielders whispering to each other when Anefsina and the two duergar emerge last, "Who's she? And them? Nobody said they'd be around. And do these people never wash? They still seem to smell of pig!"

OOC: Now that they have some time to study them, Vox and Fagin both recognize the little insignia which the eladrin are wearing as belonging to the Knights of the Fiery Crusade, an eladrin-dominated mercenary group. They're known to be quite effective and skilled, but have a poor reputation for being fey supremacists. The speaker is presumably their leader, Druemmeth Goldtemple. Despite the fact that he carries a staff, he's actually got limited magical ability and is instead a competent warrior.

Quote :
OOC: Yatagan will use WotG while Vox is talking, before he fades away.

You'll get a chance to do that when we get to the fighting, esp. since using it will automatically commence hostilities. As would Vox disappearing. You can decide at that point whether Vox decides to be in range of it or not.

Quote :
Also, forgot Diplomacy roll: 46! (48 if you count Vox's action as Aid Another).

Hah! Alas, there are certain things that Diplomacy cannot really achieve, not being actual mind-control, but that does give you the opportunity to actually gather around Roxy and prepare yourselves. Without the ginormous (50, with Pogsley aiding!) Diplomacy check, they'd have started shooting as soon as Yatagan emerged, which would have had him and the others separated by a good 15 feet from Roxy, with Pogsley further forward.
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gridley

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:42 am

shilsen wrote:

Speaking of Pogsley, did you want to run him during the fight, Steve? It'd mean extra stuff for you to track besides Roxy, so it might be better off treating him as a "flavor goblin".

ooc: Unless you're opposed to it, I'm happy to run both Roxy and Pogsley.
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shilsen

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:45 am

gridley wrote:
ooc: Unless you're opposed to it, I'm happy to run both Roxy and Pogsley.


Not at all. He's a fun addition.
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Rolzup

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:56 am

"We are indeed transporting a god," Vox admits. "But not this 'Lady Kommerel'. Are you certain that you wish to tempt the wrath of Kamapua, the Boar Who Roots Out Sin? I wouldn't advise it; he's a wrathful sort."

"This would be a good time to display your radiant majesty for the crowd," he hisses back over his shoulder.
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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 12:15 pm

shilsen wrote:
Hah! Not a fan of the movie, I presume?
Haven't seen it. True Shit just sounded like the right name for a Western starring our group.

shilsen wrote:
"I'm tempted to forgo that if you hand over the deities right now, or perhaps even just Lady Kommerel, so I sincerely hope you won't answer in the negative to either of my questions."
"Alas, I cannot give you Lady Kommeral. As my friend the well-connected Eternal Bureaucrat says, she is not with us. She is... away... doing that which she was created to do, I imagine, following her dharma, her weird... her programming. Yatagan says that last word in Draconic since it has no contemporary Common analog.

Moved by some strange, shallow tide of his mind, Yatagan continues trying to be reasonable. "You could attack us tonight, but for what gain? We have none of the former Eladrin gods, and if you should kill us, which by the way you would not, the trail of the Lady would grow colder still."

Yatagan counts the number of Eladrin in the street, albeit somewhat slowly.

"But if we absolutely must shed blood this evening, might it be as little as possible? Would you consider dueling me, Sir Knight? Or does your strength flow from your mob rather than your honor?"

shilsen wrote:
They still seem to smell of pig!"
"We smell of god" corrects Yatagan.

OOC: Yatagan's diplomacy is undermined by his actions. He's used to it only being good enough to buy him some time. But... how about letting him get Wrath of the Gods off in a psuedo-surprise round prior to rolling initiative? He *did* get a 50 Diplomacy check! (with some help)
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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 5:02 pm

Rolzup wrote:
"We are indeed transporting a god," Vox admits. "But not this 'Lady Kommerel'. Are you certain that you wish to tempt the wrath of Kamapua, the Boar Who Roots Out Sin? I wouldn't advise it; he's a wrathful sort."

This warning from Vox causes a couple of the eladrin closer to him to sneer. One says, "We know of your pig-god. You cannot scare us, half-dead half-breed ...." He stops awkwardly, the insult not tripping off the tongue quite as well as he'd have liked. Behind him, one of the elven archers whispers to another, "Wasn't their pig-god supposedly called Treasure?"

Rolzup wrote:
"This would be a good time to display your radiant majesty for the crowd," he hisses back over his shoulder.

Behind Vox, there is a faint groaning sound--first from the diety and then from the wagon--as Kamapua rises onto his trotters. The divine boar stomps forward, and the shadar-kai is fairly sure he hears the grinding of its teeth.

Meanwhile...

Mallus wrote:
"Alas, I cannot give you Lady Kommeral. As my friend the well-connected Eternal Bureaucrat says, she is not with us. She is... away... doing that which she was created to do, I imagine, following her dharma, her weird... her programming. Yatagan says that last word in Draconic since it has no contemporary Common analog.

Druemmeth, who cannot quite see the back of the wagon from his position in front of the oxen, frowns as Yatagan speaks, his expression saying that the paladin is successfully attacking his mind with bullshit. Then he steps sideways, attempting to peer around the members of the Swynod at whatever's going on in the rear. The two sword-bearing women beside him step sideways in perfect unison, staying adjacent to but slightly ahead of him.

Quote :
Moved by some strange, shallow tide of his mind, Yatagan continues trying to be reasonable. "You could attack us tonight, but for what gain? We have none of the former Eladrin gods, and if you should kill us, which by the way you would not, the trail of the Lady would grow colder still."

"No matter," says Druemmeth, slightly absent-mindedly still looking past Yatagan. "We get paid for you, anyway, dead or alive. And we," he smiles cruelly, switching his attention fully back to the paladin, "Have ways to extract information."

Quote :
Yatagan counts the number of Eladrin in the street, albeit somewhat slowly.

There are a lot of them. Besides Druemmeth and the two swordswomen, there are six wand-wielding eladrin, along with eight elven archers.

Quote :
"But if we absolutely must shed blood this evening, might it be as little as possible? Would you consider dueling me, Sir Knight? Or does your strength flow from your mob rather than your honor?"

Druemmeth's face turns, if possible, even more angular at the words and his eyes darken. "Trying to taunt me into single combat won't work, Fracas. What makes you think a lizard is worthy of ...

Before he can finish, first Kamapua's snout and then all of his large head emerges from the doors at the back of the wagon as he finally reaches them. "I," the boar growls in great dudgeon, clearly having overheard some of the whispers, "Am not bloody Treasure! I am Kamapua! Behold me and despair!"

As the eladrin and elves in the area hastily switch targets, aiming at the irate boar, Yatagan feels a warmth in his crotch. Which disappears instantly afterwards, causing the same feeling of absence which he has encountered earlier from the crotch-god in the presence of Kamapua. But it leaves behind an unusual feeling of potency in his nether regions. His fluids feel positively ... tingly.

Simultaneously, Druemmeth opens his mouth to shout something, but before he can do so, Kamapua roars. "Smite the infidels in my name!" Almost all the members of the Swynod, whether it be Vox standing nearby or Yatagan fifteen feet away at the front of the wagon immediately feel an odd sense of resilience descend upon them. It feels as if they were armored in thick, bristle-covered hide with a protective layer of fat below. As if they could trample the foe under their trotters. And as if they really, really hate pork buns. Roxy too is affected, but Lizzy and Pogsley remain untouched, atheism shielding them from the boar's divine blessing.

Druemmeth yells, "Take them down! Alive if possible, dead if not!" He moves forward, whirling his staff in both hands.

OOC: It's on. We'll handle the fight on Friday, of course.

Quote :
OOC: Yatagan's diplomacy is undermined by his actions. He's used to it only being good enough to buy him some time. But... how about letting him get Wrath of the Gods off in a psuedo-surprise round prior to rolling initiative? He *did* get a 50 Diplomacy check! (with some help)

Actually, thanks to the Diplomacy check, I already decided on something related but different. Yatagan does have to wait till his initiative to use it, but he can use Wrath of the Gods as a close burst 5 in this fight, which means the PCs can be spread out as it suits them when he does so.

Also, thanks to Kamapua's blessing, for this fight everyone can use their second wind as a minor action. If you decide to spend it as a standard action, you can spend two surges instead of one. And no, the two poor atheists don't get too. Kamapua is a jealous god!
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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 8:55 pm

shilsen wrote:
"And we," he smiles cruelly, switching his attention fully back to the paladin, "Have ways to extract information."
"My mind is an impervious fortress" bellows Yatagan with delight. "Information cannot penetrate nor leave!"

Quote :
Druemmeth yells, "Take them down! Alive if possible, dead if not!" He moves forward, whirling his staff in both hands.
"You could have quit this field with your life and dignity, elf" spits Yatagan. He hefts his new axe; a Dragonborn relic recovered from some long-past battlefield in the Hells. It's haft is inlaid with ornate mother-of-pearl. It's blade is shot through with father-of-pearl; the dried semen of ancient Dragonborn heroes. Yatagan runs the axe between his legs and gives it with a fresh coating of spunk.

"Now you shall leave with neither."

Quote :

Actually, thanks to the Diplomacy check, I already decided on something related but different.
OOC: Excellent!
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gridley

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:11 pm

shilsen wrote:
"They still seem to smell of pig!"

"That not pig! That smell alllll Pogsley!"

shilsen wrote:
so it might be better off treating him as a "flavor goblin".

ooc: I'm having a hard time shaking the phrase "flavor goblin" out of my head.

While Yatagan is talking, Roxy calmly climbs down from the wagon and straightens her dress. If anyone is watching her movements, she will distract them by blowing a kiss with one hand while retrieving her massive hammer from the floor of the wagon with the other.

shilsen wrote:

Druemmeth yells, "Take them down! Alive if possible, dead if not!" He moves forward, whirling his staff in both hands.

Pogsley growls and yells, "Boozhee dopes! Religion is the slow pee pit of them asses!"


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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:47 am

gridley wrote:
ooc: I'm having a hard time shaking the phrase "flavor goblin" out of my head.

Very Happy

In my previous 5-year long Eberron campaign, the PCs once found a goblin corpse (in an aberration city) which had been preserved and sliced from side to side into hundreds of transverse sections with one side being held together by metal bolts. So you could flip through it like pages and study its anatomy. Thus was born the reference goblin.

Quote :
Pogsley growls and yells, "Bougie dopes! Religion is the slow pee pit of them asses!"

Damn! Now I'm going to have to quote Pogsley whenever I want to talk about religion as the slow pee pit of them asses.
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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:54 am

"Well, crap."
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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:16 am

gridley wrote:
Religion is the slow pee pit of them asses!"
It's Yatagan's turn to be distracted. "Slow? Pee? Pit?" Yatagan translates from the goblin Common idiom. Badly. Religion is a crowded latrine full of assholes... heh... that boy's a natural wordsmith, but best not to think that too loudly around Kamapua.

Yatagan clears his head by shouting, "Cry Kamapua for the Swynod, universal healthcare, and... spicy beef buns!" Then he charges Druemmeth.
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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:00 pm

Rolzup wrote:
"Well, crap."

OOC: You ain't seen nothing yet.

BTW, tomorrow is DM's Day (March Fourth), so I have made plans to be royally entertained and amused. Consider yourselves warned Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Thu Mar 03, 2011 3:18 pm

shilsen wrote:
Rolzup wrote:
"Well, crap."

OOC: You ain't seen nothing yet.

BTW, tomorrow is DM's Day (March Fourth), so I have made plans to be royally entertained and amused. Consider yourselves warned :twisted:

Well, that's strange, because according to Pogsley's calendar, every day is POGSLEY DAY!


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PostSubject: Re: The Return of the Unforgiven   Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:23 pm

It's Pogsley's world and we're just living in it...
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