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 Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After

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shilsen

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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:28 am

Mallus wrote:
Yatagan tips the messenger a Hellish doubloon. A slightly annoyed look crosses his face, as if he has several pomegranate seeds stuck between his fangs. "Screwtape is as good a woman as an ineffably bad woman can be. This will not do."

His voice booming, Yatagan calls a meeting of the Ordo Porco Dei on the matter of proving Captain Screwtape's innocence, or, failing that, freeing her and making a mad dash away from the Hells like the heroes of the cheap, paperback fiction of yore.

OOC: Is Chakram included?
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:39 am

shilsen wrote:
OOC: Is Chakram included?
OOC: of course!
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 11:20 am

Mallus wrote:
OOC: of course!

In that case...

Quote :
Yatagan tips the messenger a Hellish doubloon. A slightly annoyed look crosses his face, as if he has several pomegranate seeds stuck between his fangs. "Screwtape is as good a woman as an ineffably bad woman can be. This will not do."

His voice booming, Yatagan calls a meeting of the Ordo Porco Dei on the matter of proving Captain Screwtape's innocence, or, failing that, freeing her and making a mad dash away from the Hells like the heroes of the cheap, paperback fiction of yore.

Chakram leans back in her chair and guffaws for a long moment, before wiping away her laughter but not the amused expression. "Sorry," she says, tone belying the word, as she cocks an eyebrow at Yatagan, "But I thought you said you intended to free the Captain from Lord Orcus' chosen guards, at the largest festival in the Hells, and then make it all the way back to the Port ahead of the Infernal Navy? Right? Since you obviously don't have the time to prove her innocence, have no real idea that she is innocent, and are dealing with people who probably don't care whether she's innocent."

The merriment on Chakram's face fades slightly and she says, with as much seriousness as she can muster, "Listen, Yatagan - I've had some entertaining times with you people, so here's some advice: let it go. You can't do anything about it, and it'll probably get you and your friends killed. Or worse. And it'll draw attention to you again, right after you found the ritual. Do you have any idea how many people would kill for that? Seriously, let it go."
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:03 pm

shilsen wrote:
"Sorry," she says, tone belying the word, as she cocks an eyebrow at Yatagan, "But I thought you said you intended to free the Captain from Lord Orcus' chosen guards, at the largest festival in the Hells, and then make it all the way back to the Port ahead of the Infernal Navy? Right?
"Perhaps that is a tad... unrealistic" concedes the Dragonborn.

Quote :
"Since you obviously don't have the time to prove her innocence, have no real idea that she is innocent, and are dealing with people who probably don't care whether she's innocent."
"But I know she is innocent. For we are guilty. Therein lies the rub."

Quote :
Or worse. And it'll draw attention to you again, right after you found the ritual. Do you have any idea how many people would kill for that? Seriously, let it go."
"You speak truly. I swore to return the ritual to the Port, and I should not jeopardize that. But can I allow Screwtape to go to her death knowing full well of her --relative-- innocence? Can you see no stratagem to employ?"

Yatagan falls, briefly, silent.

"The other option left to me is to atone. To avenge her unjust murder. Of course, once the ritual is used and the Dragonborn city raised, I can avenge the good Captain with ancient war machines! Maybe even another volcano-bomb!"

"That would be... acceptable" says Yatagan coldly.
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 12:15 pm

"Can we not frame someone else?"

Vox shrugs. "That Barnum fellow, perhaps -- that appears to be something of a tradition at this point. An empty container of the elixir in his place of residence, an anonymous tip or three...should be fairly easy to keep from being too involved."
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:37 pm

The festival gets underway with a terrifying array of truly hellish spectacles. On stage after stage, revolting acts of violence are performed for the entertainment of the crowds, a few so heinous that even battle hardened outsiders such as yourselves cringe.

Once they are finished, the warlocks take the stage for displays of mystical might. A Tiefling child is turned into a seemingly endless fountain of blood. Stones are transmuted into living, screaming flesh. A cage full of crocodiles is fused into one multi-headed creature and then lowered into a pit full of political prisoners. For a few minutes, the entire sky is set afire.

And once the magic is done, the freaks are brought out. The poor doomed creatures, many so disfigured that you can only guess what race they once were. A few in the awful parade tell tales of how they wandered into the city's sewers as children and were twisted into shapes by the cruel dark things that live beneath the city.

Following the freak show comes the execution of the traitors. First, six Tiefling courtiers are beheaded, one by one, their crimes ranging from the voicing of opposition to the policies of Emperor Orcus to outright treason. One of them bravely breaks away from his jailers long enough to look up to the balcony from which Lord Orcus watches and shouts that he innocent. He is dragged back to the chopping block, swearing his undying loyalty.

Brought up next is a bleach-skinned Velrinc Tiefling man. The Pit Fiend reading off the crimes announces his name as Cliven Screwtape and reads a long list of crimes that begins with breaking the banishment of his kind by returning to the Hells and ends with his defacing the burial site of Pandemonium with the intent of overthrowing the emperor. He stands defiant, even smiling, as his crimes are read out.

Suddenly, from about a hundred yards behind, you hear a woman's voice scream out, "Lies!" You look back to see Cuulus and Zebulon Morrow physically restraining a screaming Tiefling woman. Despite her dark red skin and full, unbroken horns, you recognize her features as those of Captain Videka Screwtape.

Breaking free from her crewmates, Videka Screwtape charges ahead towards the executioner's platform, drawing a scimitar from its scabbard as she pushes her way through.

Seeing the disturbance, a crew of about twelve Hell Knights riding flame-snorting Nightmares begin making their way slowly through the crowd to intercept her. Several of the Pit Fiends which make up the royal guard of Emperor Orcus take to the stage to get a better look.

Blind with rage, Videka Screwtape blazes a path through the onlookers, passing very close to where you are standing.




Last edited by gridley on Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 3:50 pm

Mallus wrote:
"But I know she is innocent. For we are guilty. Therein lies the rub."

"What makes you think we're ... you're the only people who might go digging out there? There are a lot of people who are very interested in the lost secrets of the city. From what we heard, Screwtape was caught using ancient magic to deface the glass. She only revealed the supposed connection to Demogorgon under torture, which means it's probably untrue, but it's quite possible the other elements are true. Especially since she left the ship even knowing that Velrinc are very much diabolus non grata here."

Quote :
"The other option left to me is to atone. To avenge her unjust murder. Of course, once the ritual is used and the Dragonborn city raised, I can avenge the good Captain with ancient war machines! Maybe even another volcano-bomb!"

"That would be... acceptable" says Yatagan coldly.

Utterly honestly, Chakram lifts a glass to him. "Best of luck!" He'll definitely need it.

Rolzup wrote:
"Can we not frame someone else?"

Vox shrugs. "That Barnum fellow, perhaps -- that appears to be something of a tradition at this point. An empty container of the elixir in his place of residence, an anonymous tip or three...should be fairly easy to keep from being too involved."

You too? Chakram gives Vox a faintly pained look, having pegged him as at least a little saner than the others, and says, "Assuming that Screwtape was using the elixir, and that's a big assumption, that would just get Barnum tossed in jail too and possibly executed with her. And I really doubt you have the time to do anything between now and tomorrow morning. It's getting late already."

Chakram looks out the window and says, "See what I mean? Which reminds me - I have a little work to do. I'll see you all later. I suggest drinking a few libations to the soon-to-be-late Captain Screwtape and leaving it at that."

Taking her leave of the others, the infernal warrior feels a little better, since this is one area where she has absolutely no intention of helping them out. Much as she has enjoyed this little interlude with the company of madmen, if it seemed that they would truly attempt something regarding Screwtape, she would probably have to betray them to make sure the results of their actions wouldn't ensnare her as well. I hope it doesn't come to that, she thinks, as she makes her way to Navadni's. At least some of this should hopefully be news to the salamander.
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:39 pm

shilsen wrote:

"What makes you think we're ... you're the only people who might go digging out there? There are a lot of people who are very interested in the lost secrets of the city.
"I do not think. I know. A dead certainty squats in my mind like an unborn god."

Later, at the festival...

gridley wrote:
Brought up next is a bleach-skinned Velrinc Tiefling man. The Pit Fiend reading off the crimes announces his name as Cliven Screwtape and reads a long list of crimes that begins with breaking the banishment of his kind by returning to the Hells and ends with his defacing the burial site of Pandemonium with the intent of overthrowing the emperor.
"Well, that's a clutch of eggs on my face!" exclaims Yatagan, happily clapping Chakram on the back. "Looks like you were right. Oh no... pardon me". Yatagan's gaze alights on the rapidly approaching Videka Screwtape.

"Crotch God" he prays, "Aid me with this woman."

Yatagan leaps to interpose himself between the Screwtape and her untimely demise at the hands of the Hell Knights.

OOC: are we still 12th level with our old gear?
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:06 pm

Mallus wrote:
OOC: are we still 12th level with our old gear?

ooc: Yes, still 12th with old gear.

Mallus wrote:
"Crotch God" he prays, "Aid me with this woman."

Yatagan leaps to interpose himself between the Screwtape and her untimely demise.

The crotch god grows heavy as Yatagan grows miraculously lighter, allowing him to leap through the air, over the horned heads of the crowd like the celebrated jumping Frog Women of Calaveras! Then, as quickly as it left, his considerable mass returns to him with a vengeance as he lands in front of Captain Screwtape. She strikes the scaly wall of him with a painful thud and bounces to the ground.

Looking up, a trail of blood dripping from the side of her mouth, Videka speaks with gravel in her voice, "Get out of my way, Fracas!"
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:25 pm

gridley wrote:
"Get out of my way, Fracas!"
"If you die here Videka, who will avenge him?" asks Yatagan quietly.

"Choose life. Choose revenge."

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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:31 pm

Mallus wrote:
gridley wrote:
"Get out of my way, Fracas!"
"If you die here Videka, who will avenge him?" asks Yatagan quietly.

"Choose life. Choose revenge."


ooc: Give me a diplomacy check for that.
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:34 pm

OK.





Last edited by Mallus on Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:34 pm

The member 'Mallus' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:36 pm

Of course I roll under a 5... using Yatagan's Choker of Eloquence Daily power to re-reroll...

... comes out to a 36. 38 if Chakram is within 25 ft. of him.


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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:36 pm

The member 'Mallus' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 5:59 pm

Mallus wrote:
Of course I roll under a 5... using Yatagan's Choker of Eloquence Daily power to re-reroll...

... comes out to a 36. 38 if Chakram is within 25 ft. of him.

ooc: Something tells me that Chakram is discretely making her way as far from Yatagan as she can manage. Fortunately, though, two others aid his attempt, bringing his score up to 40.

As Yatagan speaks, Cuulus and Zebulon Morrow catch up with Captain Screwtape.

"Listen to him, Captain," implores Morrow.

"Yes, Videka," says Cuulus, kneeling down and taking her hand. "You know he's right. Listen to Yatagan. Live to avenge!"

Videka Screwtape is silent for a moment, then nods her head, tears in her eyes, and sheaths her sword.

The Hell Knights are getting closer.
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:01 pm

Chakram quietly takes a step forward and reaches for her falchion, though she doesn't unsheathe it yet. As she does so, her eyes rove over Captain Screwtape's form, settling on what should be a weak spot behind her neck, far enough from her horns for them not to interfere with a well-aimed strike. If the captain of the ship I sailed in on--in bloody Orquiel's employ--is going to cause a public commotion and prove herself a traitor, I'll be damned if anyone else gets to take her down.
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Wed Feb 16, 2011 6:02 pm

gridley wrote:
ooc: Something tells me that Chakram is discretely making her way as far from Yatagan as she can manage. Fortunately, though, two others aid his attempt, bringing his score up to 40.

Heh! I was typing just as you posted, with a slightly different take on things.
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:44 am

gridley wrote:
The Hell Knights are getting closer.
Yatagan steps towards Captain Screwtape in a menacing way. He's using his imposing bulk to look imposing, but also to shield her from nearby eyes and ears. He raises a mailed hand as if to strike her.

Continuing sotto vocce he says "I'm going to denounce you loudly now, Captain Screwtape. My apologies. Then I'll strike you a stage blow with my axe. I'd advise rolling with it away, far away, from the Hell Knights, then using your bamfy Tielfling arts to disappear into the crowd. Good luck."

The Dragonborn paladin lowers his fist. "How dare you disturb this great, profane Festival you homely half-horned harlot! The festival we won! My fist is too good for your face! You shall get the axe." Yatagan showily removes his Tielfling-made battleaxe from his broad and overweight back, winds up, and strikes Screwtape a mighty-looking (ie nonlethal and glancing) blow.
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:43 am

"Damn you," Vox cries, catching the (hopefully) falling Captain. "You've killed her, you monster!"

(Bluff: 25)

He begins to drag her backwards into the crowd, while Dexter leaps up from his perach upon Vox's shoulder, clenches into a fist, and shakes menacingly at Yatigan before dropping back.


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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:43 am

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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:43 am

...and a re-roll....
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Thu Feb 17, 2011 11:43 am

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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Thu Feb 17, 2011 12:14 pm

Rolzup wrote:
"Damn you," Vox cries, catching the (hopefully) falling Captain. "You've killed her, you monster!"
"That's Sir Monster to you!" roars Yatagan. "She got what she deserved."

Quote :
(Bluff: 25)
OOC: Aid Another +2 for Yatagan playing along.

IC: Ah, the joy of improv! thinks Yatagan.
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PostSubject: Re: Finishing Up With A Bang: The Goblin Cannonball and All That Comes After   Thu Feb 17, 2011 12:50 pm

Mallus wrote:

Yatagan steps towards Captain Screwtape in a menacing way. He's using his imposing bulk to look imposing, but also to shield her from nearby eyes and ears. He raises a mailed hand as if to strike her.

Continuing sotto vocce he says "I'm going to denounce you loudly now, Captain Screwtape. My apologies. Then I'll strike you a stage blow with my axe. I'd advise rolling with it away, far away, from the Hell Knights, then using your bamfy Tielfling arts to disappear into the crowd. Good luck."

Videka Screwtape looks up confused, muttering, "Bamfy? What?" a moment too late.

Mallus wrote:
The Dragonborn paladin lowers his fist. "How dare you disturb this great, profane Festival you homely half-horned harlot! The festival we won! My fist is too good for your face! You shall get the axe." Yatagan showily removes his Tielfling-made battleaxe from his broad and overweight back, winds up, and strikes Screwtape a mighty-looking (ie nonlethal and glancing) blow.

Yatagan slams his axe into Screwtape as lightly as he can, but in his clumsy haste to make it look convincing, connects somewhat solidly with her head. She collapses to the ground.

The surrounding crowd bursts into laughter, obviously relieved both that the heckler has been silenced and comforted by the reassuring sight of physical violence.

The Hell Knights pause for a moment, craning their necks to ascertain the situation.

Rolzup wrote:
"Damn you," Vox cries, catching the (hopefully) falling Captain. "You've killed her, you monster!"

(Bluff: 25)

Mallus wrote:
"That's Sir Monster to you!" roars Yatagan. "She got what she deserved."

Although some still stare on skeptically, a few members of the crowd applaud and cheer, a reaction that spreads through the audience.

Rolzup wrote:
He begins to drag her backwards into the crowd, while Dexter leaps up from his perach upon Vox's shoulder, clenches into a fist, and shakes menacingly at Yatigan before dropping back.

Cuulus grabs her feet and assists Vox in carrying her limp body. Zebulon Morrow follows along, doing his best to stop onlookers from poking her with their fingers as she's carried by them.

One of the Hell Knights motions to the Pit Fiends on the stage and the executioner is given the order to continue. With a mighty thunk, the skinny, sneering Velrinc's head is lopped neatly from his body.

"And now," declares the rat-tailed demon serving as and the master of sacrileges, "one last execution.... the bald-faced traitor Count Orquiel whose crimes against the Hells are too long to list. Our glorious emperor expects this to be a clear lesson that none among us are too important to be punished. His kin especially would be wise to learn from the count's mistakes, should they ever be released from prison."

Count Orquiel is rolled out on to the stage, bound as he is by hundreds of silver flesh-piercing hooks to a large wheel. His eyes have been plucked from their sockets to hang down near his newly tongue-less mouth, but he is clearly still awake and aware of what's going on, even trying desperately to speak. A giant of a demon steps up onto the stage and begins to turn a crank behind the wheel, pulling each hook simultaneously in its own direction. Orquiel's soft flesh rips quickly away from his skeleton. His limbs are drawn taut until finally they tear away from his body. Still his mouth moves in and makes a strangled sound. Finally, after a grueling wait, his head comes free from his spinal column and he pronounced dead.

Dozens of Tieflings rush the stage to grab a piece of the dead count's body as a souvenir.

The rat-tailed demon announces that there will be a brief recess while the stage is cleaned and prepared for the sacrifice of the false god.






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