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 The Wrong Pig

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Rolzup

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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Wed Dec 08, 2010 3:32 pm

gridley wrote:
Rolzup wrote:

"I see, I see. And what is to be done with the god, if I may ask? Are you bringing it to Mr. Suweeginus, or do you have other instructions -- assuming that this is no secret, of course."

"Mister Elroy," calls one of the workers.

"Excuse me one moment," he tells Vox, as he walks around the kennel, taking some time to inspect that everything has been done correctly, straightening the very dark fabric here and there, tucking it in place in the corners.

"Well, as I understand it," he continues finally, "Kamapua is the guest of honor at some sort of party tonight in Nessus."

Cruise Elroy pulls a short, straight stick carved from some very dark species of wood out of of his jacket pocket and taps it lightly on the very dark fabric. The black-wrapped caged shimmers for a moment, then turns jet black.

"I understand it's to be a barbecue."

The sheets of very dark fabric suddenly collapse to the ground. The cage and Kamapua are gone!

ooc: It's up to you whether Dexter was in the cage or not when it vanished.

OOC: It wouldn't matter, alas; he cannot exist more than 100 ft. from Vox before simply vanishing. So much for hiding invisibly within the cage....

With an effort all the more admirable when one considers the screams of rage currently echoing through his mind, Vox summons a smile and a nod. "Eminently sensible, that. It's a rare treat, god. Still and all, I'm hoping to arrange a different fate. The Hotel Gehenna, you say? I'll go seek him out, then."

He tips his hat, "Have a pleasant day, good sir," turns, and vanishes into the crowd. He lets himself get a good thirty feet or so from the workmen before breaking into a run.

"It was a tactical error," he snaps, "I made a gamble, and I lost. All is not lot, though!"

Is being IDIOT! Should have been smiting, and stabbings, and bold actions! Is time for talkings and talkings, and is time for killings! This is killings time!

"And how would I have gotten away with that very large god of yours, eh? No, don't answer that. Just...give me a chance, damn you."

To the Hotel, then, with all due haste....
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gridley

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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:18 pm

Rolzup wrote:
With an effort all the more admirable when one considers the screams of rage currently echoing through his mind, Vox summons a smile and a nod.

ooc: On the plus side, Vox notices a definite decline in the volume of Paetros' presence in his mind the instant Kamapua vanishes.

Rolzup wrote:
To the Hotel, then, with all due haste....

Vox makes his way through the festival crowd as quickly as he can, then breaks into a run when he reaches the street. Letting nothing stop him, he even leaps over an oncoming apple cart, which, he realizes in mid-air, is actually selling not apples but small biped skulls dipped in red wax.

Finally he reaches the Hotel Gehenna, a rather grand affair with a large blood fountain in front. As he nears the door, Vox spies a familiar face through the glass.

Thrusty Robert is standing in the lobby next to a rather large pile of luggage and being spoken to by a plump Tiefling in a rather magnificent giant-hedgehog-skin coat. Alert passersby step well out of their way to avoid being stabbed by the long quills that poke out from it quite far in every direction.
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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:44 pm

gridley wrote:
"I'm afraid that I might not be able to hear you under those circumstances," says the dragon, chagrined.
"Then your task is concluded, Illuyankas. Return to the Within at dawn's first light. You have my gratitude."

Rolzup wrote:
To the Hotel, then, with all due haste....
OOC: does Vox want to do this alone, or would he like some muscle?

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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Wed Dec 08, 2010 4:50 pm

Mallus wrote:

"Then your task is concluded, Illuyankas. Return to the Within at dawn's first light. You have my gratitude."

"And you mine," says Illuyankas, finally giving up the struggle to keep it's head lifted above the ground. "I shall see you again... someday...."
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Rolzup

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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:18 am

Mallus wrote:

OOC: does Vox want to do this alone, or would he like some muscle?

OOC: Oh, most certainly! Plus, with Yatigan in the room, no one will be likely to notice Vox doing anything underhanded.

gridley wrote:
Thrusty Robert is standing in the lobby next to a rather large pile of luggage and being spoken to by a plump Tiefling in a rather magnificent giant-hedgehog-skin coat. Alert passersby step well out of their way to avoid being stabbed by the long quills that poke out from it quite far in every direction.

Plastering a smile upon his face, Vox steps forward, and bows. "Begging your pardon, Mr. Suweeginus, but I'd like to have a word with you, if I might. I've a business proposition, and lamentable little time to pursue it."

Without waiting for an answer, he continues, "My name is Vox, and I represent a church of some small power and influence, based in the Port. My associate is the Prelate Yatigan, an officer of the church."
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:33 am

Rolzup wrote:

Plastering a smile upon his face, Vox steps forward, and bows. "Begging your pardon, Mr. Suweeginus, but I'd like to have a word with you, if I might. I've a business proposition, and lamentable little time to pursue it."

Without waiting for an answer, he continues, "My name is Vox, and I represent a church of some small power and influence, based in the Port. My associate is the Prelate Yatigan, an officer of the church."

Thrusty Robert gives Vox a wave, pats his crotch and begins hauling the improbably high stack of luggage out to a waiting carriage.

Suweeginus appraises Vox and Yatagan with a quick up-and-down, then smiles.

"Of course," he says. "You have my full attention for as long as it takes that little wooden bastard to load up my carriage." Cupping his hand to his mouth and lowering his voice slightly. "One has to keep an eye on their sort... if you know what I mean...."

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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:41 am

Rolzup wrote:
Without waiting for an answer, he continues, "My name is Vox, and I represent a church of some small power and influence, based in the Port. My associate is the Prelate Yatigan, an officer of the church."

Having seen Vox depart, followed by Yatagan, Chakram quickly points out to Fagin what they are doing and follows. Unencumbered by heavy armor unlike the dragonborn, she quickly catches up to him and matches her pace to his. The tiefling asks no questions, figuring that she'll see soon enough what's going in. When Vox stops and begins to speak to Suweeginus, she stays in the background.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:55 am

Yatagan bows to Suweeginus, saying nothing. The look on his face is serene, even a little cheerful. His wardrobe however; heavy plate, dinged shield, Goetic war-axe, acknowledge the inherently transitory nature of cheer and serenity.

This is your show, Vox. Slay him with words! Or with murder, should that prove necessary thinks Yatagan supportively.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:04 pm

gridley wrote:


"Of course," he says. "You have my full attention for as long as it takes that little wooden bastard to load up my carriage." Cupping his hand to his mouth and lowering his voice slightly. "One has to keep an eye on their sort... if you know what I mean...."


"Indeed. A piece of advice: don't trust him alone with a pineapple. Or any sort of fruit, I suppose, just to be entirely safe. But! Let me get to the point: my patron would very much like to purchase your god, Kamapua." Vox waves a hand airily, "Some theological matter beyond my ken or concern, but they have some desire to obtain the deity. It's my hope that sort of deal can be arranged before it's too late."
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:32 pm

Rolzup wrote:
"Indeed. A piece of advice: don't trust him alone with a pineapple. Or any sort of fruit, I suppose, just to be entirely safe."

Suweeginus nods knowingly and casts the slightly more evil of his evil eyes upon the marionette as it saunters by hauling over its head a massive valise that must surely outweigh the puppet tenfold.

Rolzup wrote:
"But! Let me get to the point: my patron would very much like to purchase your god, Kamapua." Vox waves a hand airily, "Some theological matter beyond my ken or concern, but they have some desire to obtain the deity. It's my hope that sort of deal can be arranged before it's too late."

"Well, son, I'm sure you and your patron got only the finest intents regarding that there pig, and I got nothing but sincere admiration for your cause, but this here's a matter of business for me. I've got over three hundred folks coming to my restaurant tonight, each of them willing to pay me 3,000 gold for the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to dine on the still living flesh of a god pig that's been roasted alive in the best damned barbecue pits of Hell."

Suweeginus pauses to keep an eye on Thrusty Robert as he passes by with an oversized hatbox.

"So, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but unless your patron's the richest sonovabitch around, that piggie's only for sale by the plateful. In fact, he's already cooking as we speak. Truthfully, the only reason I even entered that fat piggy into this contest was to promote this feast."


Last edited by gridley on Thu Dec 23, 2010 3:02 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:57 pm

gridley wrote:
"In fact, he's already cooking as we speak. Truthfully, the only reason I even entered that fat piggy into this contest was to promote this feast."
"Please remove Kamapua from the fires. Let us bargain a little longer." Yatagan's voice is low but not yet unfriendly. He looks around slowly, counting guards and witnesses.

OOC: can we see the pit, or tell where it is from the smoke?
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:02 pm

gridley wrote:

"So, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but unless your patron's the richest sonovabitch around, that piggie's only for sale by the plateful. In fact, he's already cooking as we speak. Truthfully, the only reason I even entered that fat piggy into this contest was to promote this feast."

Vox sways a little as the Porcophant reacts to this news, but manages to keep his smile nailed in place as he places a hand on Yatigan's shoulder.

"Of course, of course. I understand fully. Perhaps some of the flesh, properly preserved, might suffice. Where shall this feast be held?"
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:01 pm

Mallus wrote:
gridley wrote:
"In fact, he's already cooking as we speak. Truthfully, the only reason I even entered that fat piggy into this contest was to promote this feast."
"Please remove Kamapua from the fires. Let us bargain a little longer." Yatagan's voice is low but not yet unfriendly. He looks around slowly, counting guards and witnesses.

OOC: can we see the pit, or tell where it is from the smoke?

There are a variety of staff and guests in the hotel lobby, about twenty.

There is no visible pit, nor smell of smoke.

Rolzup wrote:
Vox sways a little as the Porcophant reacts to this news, but manages to keep his smile nailed in place as he places a hand on Yatigan's shoulder.

"Of course, of course. I understand fully. Perhaps some of the flesh, properly preserved, might suffice. Where shall this feast be held?"

Suweeginus glances down to observe Thrusty Robert walking outside with the second to last bag, then looks up and smiles.

"Well, son, I done said it was to be held at the best damned barbecue pit around. If you don't know that's the restaurant with my name on it just outside of Malsheem, well then I don't know what to tell ya!"

Thrusty Robert returns from outside, whistling a happy song, and picks up the last bag.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 2:43 pm

"Let us adjourn to the restaurant without further delay. I have a sudden hunger."

For divine retribution.

Once away from Suweeginus, Yatagan informs his companions Lord Graz'zt henchman, the dwarf Misquamacas will be at the barbecue. "I hope the grudge he bears me for slandering his contestant is suitable... small."
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:06 pm

Mallus wrote:
"Let us adjourn to the restaurant without further delay. I have a sudden hunger."

For divine retribution.

Ms. Chakram informs Yatagan that the city of Malsheem is on the Island of Nessus. With good winds, the trip should only take a few hours, but they will need to charter a ship.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:12 pm

gridley wrote:

Ms. Chakram informs Yatagan that the city of Malsheem is on the Island of Nessus. With good winds, the trip should only take a few hours, but they will need to charter a ship.
We make for the harbor. Is Captain Screwtape still in port?
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:22 pm

Mallus wrote:
gridley wrote:

Ms. Chakram informs Yatagan that the city of Malsheem is on the Island of Nessus. With good winds, the trip should only take a few hours, but they will need to charter a ship.
Oh goody thinks Yatagan. Ships have cannons! I wonder how far inland the barbecue is?

OOC: is Captain Screwtape still in port?

Barring some radical change in Count Orquiel's timetable, the Unforbidden is scheduled to return to the Port in a week's time, so yes, it is right where you left it.


Last edited by gridley on Thu Dec 23, 2010 3:04 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:23 pm

gridley wrote:
Mallus wrote:
"Let us adjourn to the restaurant without further delay. I have a sudden hunger."

For divine retribution.

Ms. Chakram informs Yatagan that the city of Malsheem is on the Island of Nessus. With good winds, the trip should only take a few hours, but they will need to charter a ship.

How far is it as the pig flies?
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 3:33 pm

Rolzup wrote:
gridley wrote:
Mallus wrote:
"Let us adjourn to the restaurant without further delay. I have a sudden hunger."

For divine retribution.

Ms. Chakram informs Yatagan that the city of Malsheem is on the Island of Nessus. With good winds, the trip should only take a few hours, but they will need to charter a ship.

How far is it as the pig flies?

Good question. What's the speed for that ritual?
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:17 pm

gridley wrote:

Good question. What's the speed for that ritual?

Even better question, that. With a roll, it's an Overland speed of 10. What that translates into when speaking of mph, I'm not yet sure.


Last edited by Rolzup on Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:17 pm

The member 'Rolzup' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:27 pm

Rolzup wrote:
gridley wrote:

Good question. What's the speed for that ritual?

Even better question, that. With a roll, it's an Overland speed of 10. What that translates into when speaking of mph, I'm not yet sure.

Traveling by ship will almost certainly be faster for the aquatic leg of the journey (not to mention safer from a navigational standpoint), but the flying pigs will come in handy getting from the ship to the restaurant.
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:37 pm

OOC: apparently pigs fly at 11.4 MPH!

Yatagan rushes up to the Unforgiven and rather breathlessly asks for permission to come aboard, followed by an equally breathless request to hire the ship "to take us to Malsheem with all possible haste."

"Our salvation is about to go up in delicious hickory-scented smoke!"
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 6:02 pm

Mallus wrote:
OOC: apparently pigs fly at 11.4 MPH!

Yatagan rushes up to the Unforgiven and rather breathlessly asks for permission to come aboard, followed by an equally breathless request to hire the ship "to take us to Malsheem with all possible haste."

"Our salvation is about to go up in delicious hickory-scented smoke!"

Yatagan finds the Tiefling first mate Cuulus engaged in some serious discussion with Human navigator Zebulon Morrow. Seeing Yatagan, Cuulus actually smiles slightly and welcomes him aboard. After hearing Yatagan's request, the two sailors take a long hard look at each other.

"I'm afraid Captain Screwtape is currently away from the ship," says Cuulus, running his fingers through his hair. "But we can take you."

Zebulon puts his hand on his shipmate's shoulder. "Are you certain?"

"Yatagan's crew saved all of our lives," Cuulus tells him in a low voice. "We'll take them and we'll do it for free. I'll leave a few of the men behind in case she turns up."

------------

Fortunately, the Unforbidden has been left in a state of readiness and by the time the Swine Manor Kids can get aboard, the ship is ready to sail.

The waters are somewhat treacherous between the two islands, but The Unforbidden is agile and swift, even passing two other vessels making their way towards Nessus, carrying crowds of people in party-going attire.

The ship arrives in the port of Malsheem in just over three hours. t's a younger, less imposing city than Brass. Wood and stucco buildings of modest height are in the majority. A third small vessel carrying aristocratic Tieflings is docking at the same time as the Unforbidden.

------------

After getting directions from the disembarking aristocrats, the crew take flight on pigback, soaring over the city of Malsheem, toward the canyons that land beyond.

Reaching an especially impressive chasm of dusty orange rock, they see the sign for Suweeginus Bottomless Pit Barbecue and descend down, down, down to the bottom, flying past an impressive but slow cast iron elevator carrying excited diners down to their meal.

The restaurant itself is a brokendown-looking affair of wood and shingles, impressive only for its sheer size and the long line of folks waiting to enter.

Vox cringes internally as the rich smell of roasted flesh fills everyone's nostrils.


Last edited by gridley on Thu Dec 23, 2010 3:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: The Wrong Pig   Thu Dec 09, 2010 8:20 pm

gridley wrote:
Vox cringes internally as the rich smell of roasted flesh fills everyone's nostrils.

As they disempork from the flying pigs, Chakram says reassuringly, "Maybe we're smelling some of the other courses, Vox." Studying the long line of waiting people, she reaches up and loosens her falchion in its scabbard. "So, gentlemen, how are we doing this? Are we just walking in and being ... obstreperous," she asks, her tone simultaneously hopeful and anticipatory, "Or do you have a cunning plan?"
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