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 a deal with the devils

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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 10:14 am

gridley wrote:
OOC: Let me know if you'd care to pause at any of these appealing attractions.
Yatagan's moved by the goblin's mixture of poverty, gusto, and public display of bodily functions. He'll toss coins to the beggars and sing his pornographic protest songs, starting with 'We Shall Overcome (On You)'". But he'll make sure his coin purse, and the member of his personal Trinity he keeps on him at all times, are both safely tucked away in his codpiece.

Quote :
The tallest building in Goblintown is the home of the Goblintown Gazette...
"Say, we should start our own newspaper. The Miracle Pig Times-Picayune has a nice ring to it. We could use it promote The Glorious Treasure of Heaven. And my poetry recitals. And whatever it is Lizzie's always going on about, 'the violent revolution of the proletariat'."

Quote :
(as well as headquarters for the influential union Local 13, known in some quarters as "the Gobblies").
OOC: what else! Very Happy

Quote :
Upon walking in, you are greeted by a nicely-dressed goblin woman seated at a desk.

"Well, hello, how may I help you?"

Before entering the building, Yatagan says to the rest of the League "Would anyone else like to do the talking? My throat's a little raw from singing." He smiles happily.
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shilsen

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 11:03 am

Mallus wrote:
Before entering the building, Yatagan says to the rest of the League "Would anyone else like to do the talking? My throat's a little raw from singing." He smiles happily.

Artichoke replies quickly, "Happy to do so, but if more magical bargaining-coins show up, I'll be even more happy to turn things over to you." Addressing the group as a whole, he continues, "Let's try the same strategy as we used with the tieflings, okay? I'll tell Hob that I learned of his interest in the goddess and would be willing to obtain her for him, and see if he drops any information we can use."

gridley wrote:
It doesn't take long to locate your destination. The tallest building in Goblintown is the home of the Goblintown Gazette (as well as headquarters for the influential union Local 13, known in some quarters as "the Gobblies"). Upon walking in, you are greeted by a nicely-dressed goblin woman seated at a desk.

"Well, hello, how may I help you?"

Artichoke smiles back pleasantly and says, "Would it be possible to speak with Gadrun Hob. He's not expecting us, but I'd appreciate it if you'd tell him that," he hesitates for a split second, "Captain Artichoke is asking to speak with him. I have some business I'd like to discuss."
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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 11:37 am

gridley wrote:
And of course, the moment you step into Goblintown, you are bombarded by beggars. "Hey, boss, spare a couple coins?" "Bosses, need a guide?" "Hey, boss, how about buying a guy a drink?" "You looking to sell those shoes, boss?" "Wanna see the fights, boss? I can get you a front row seat!"

Pætros, beaming, passes out tracts to all and sundry. He quite literally refuses to take "no" for an answer, glowering recalcitrant goblins into submission before pressing paper into their hands. "Pig is good for soul, and for belly. Not accepting Pig into heart is BAD for soul, and for not bleeding. Is not threat, is metaphor. No, wait...is threat."

Mallus wrote:
"Say, we should start our own newspaper. The Miracle Pig Times-Picayune has a nice ring to it. We could use it promote The Glorious Treasure of Heaven. And my poetry recitals. And whatever it is Lizzie's always going on about, 'the violent revolution of the proletariat'."

"Dragon-Pervert is being brilliant again," Pætros cries. "Can print sermons, witty cartoons making much fun of peoples who piss off Glorious Treasure of Heavens! Pervert can write advice column!"
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Atlatl Jones

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 12:09 pm

Mallus wrote:
OOC: Me too. I think I'll make it my ENWorld signature. BTW, it's the Gospel of Marking 1:17.
I shudder to think what Marking 1:8* is.


*Mark 1:8 is "I have baptized you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit"

gridley wrote:
Charoset smiles. "Unholy wedding bells, I think we have a deal!"
"Excellent! It is time to do the Dance of Matrimonial Dealmaking!" Fagin begins, and I assume that the twins join in. They link arms, and dance together in a circle, while singing a song in Infernal that has a lot of "oy yoy yoy's" in it. It finishes with a ritualistic move that looks a lot like each of them pinching a coin up from the floor and putting it in their pockets.

Quote :
"As I said," states Maror, "I have no clue if they will work on Komerall, but they were built for me by a very evil and very expensive blacksmith, so they're certainly worth a try."
"It's a thing of beauty, indeed."

Quote :
OOC: How the heck do you have a +22 bluff? That's three points higher than Odanais. Jealous!
He has a +17 bonus, from Charisma, level modifier, and racial modifier, and his Beguiling Tongue power gives an additional +5 bonus once per encounter.


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 12:17 pm

Atlatl Jones wrote:
"Excellent! It is time to do the Dance of Matrimonial Dealmaking!" Fagin begins, and I assume that the twins join in. They link arms, and dance together in a circle, while singing a song in Infernal that has a lot of "oy yoy yoy's" in it. It finishes with a ritualistic move that looks a lot like each of them pinching a coin up from the floor and putting it in their pockets.

Of course! Charoset dances with the most gusto, proving himself very light on his feet, but even Maror cracks a smile as he sings and shuffles along.

Atlatl Jones wrote:
He has a +17 bonus, from Charisma, level modifier, and racial modifier, and his Beguiling Tongue power gives an additional +5 bonus once per encounter.

Sweet!
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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 2:25 pm

shilsen wrote:
Artichoke smiles back pleasantly and says, "Would it be possible to speak with Gadrun Hob. He's not expecting us, but I'd appreciate it if you'd tell him that," he hesitates for a split second, "Captain Artichoke is asking to speak with him. I have some business I'd like to discuss."

After about a fifteen minute wait, during which most small talk is drowned out by the awful clanging and screeching of the ancient Dragonborn printing presses in the basement, you are ushered up to the third floor of the building. She walks you through a large open newsroom, full of agitated-looking goblins, running everywhere shouting and carrying dangerously tall stacks of paper, and then knocks on an unmarked office door at the back. The door springs open to reveal a sparsely-decorated office. Seated behind the desk is the largest goblin you've probably ever seen. He's nearly six feet sitting down and fills out his large chair with ample fat. His hair is a bit messy and judging from the bags under his eyes, you suspect he didn't get much sleep last night, if any. He is wearing fine clothing, including a particularly lovely green waistcoat, although the white shirt underneath has what appears to be a large coffee stain on the collar.

Two similarly-dressed goblins are standing at his side scribbling in notepads. Gadrun Hob barks at them: "Tell Magistrate Twist that if we don't get a comment from him in 24 hours, all of the details of his last family vacation are going to be on the front page faster than he can fondle a snake! What? Of course, I don't know what he did on his vacation! But he doesn't need to know that! If we don't get it, move the story to page three, and jump up the story about Lady Lively to replace it."

As you fill the room, two things catch your attention immediately:

The first is a life-sized mechanical dragonborn holding a large double-bladed axe. Such warforged warriors once swelled the ranks of the ancient Dragonborn Empire, but are rarely seen these days and even then seldom in what appears to be working order. A smaller-than-average halfling, possibly a child, is curled up by its feet.

The second is a small altar set into the wall, decorated with fragrant sea shells and fresh flowers. On it is a two foot tall statue of a serene-looking goblin woman cast in gold.

Hob looks up and laughs. "A dragonborn, a tiefling, a gith, and a human walk into Goblintown. Sounds like the beginning of a joke, eh? You have five minutes. Spill it."


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 2:25 pm

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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 3:20 pm

gridley wrote:
Sounds like the beginning of a joke, eh? You have five minutes. Spill it."
"It could be the beginning of your salvation, Mr. Hob. Judging by your taste in ancient war machines and votive shrines I can see you're a man of taste, power, and piety, so I'll not mince words. My friends and I have a proposition for you. If you'd be so good, Mr. Artichoke..."

OOC: Yatagan salts his words with honey... Diplomacy: 26 -- he's trying to make a good first impression. I guess that means he's carrying, not wearing, his black iron skull mask.


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 3:20 pm

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 4:38 pm

Pætros strolls over to the altar, hands clasped behind his back, and takes a moment to examine it while humming tunelessly.

"Is needing more pigs," he concludes, turning back to the others.

OOC: Insight: 21 to get a sense of the fellow's true level of piety. Is there any dust upon the altar? Does it have any offerings upon it? That sort of thing.


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 4:38 pm

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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 4:42 pm

Rolzup wrote:
"Is needing more pigs," he concludes, turning back to the others.
OOC: so it's going to be "good Pope, bad Pope", eh? Yatagan will also keep an eye on Hob as the Porcophant approaches the shrine.

Insight - 19. Apparently Yatagan can't take his eyes of the cool axe-wielding robot.


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 4:42 pm

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 4:45 pm

Gepetto Jack looks at the warforged and the small halfling child, and his chest fills with desire for both.

He bows obsequiously, with an oily smile. "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste."

"We have an offer that I'm sure you will find... most tempting."

OOC: Bluff 27 to conceal his desire for the warforged and halfling child, and to appear genuine and non-sinister.


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 4:46 pm

(I could have sworn I used the die-roller in my last post.)


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 4:46 pm

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gridley

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 4:59 pm

Rolzup wrote:
Pætros strolls over to the altar, hands clasped behind his back, and takes a moment to examine it while humming tunelessly.

"Is needing more pigs," he concludes, turning back to the others.

OOC: Insight: 21 to get a sense of the fellow's true level of piety. Is there any dust upon the altar? Does it have any offerings upon it? That sort of thing.

No dust. The flowers and shell are fresh. You reckon he's either pious or making a good show of appearing so.
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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 5:08 pm

Mallus wrote:
"It could be the beginning of your salvation, Mr. Hob. Judging by your taste in ancient war machines and votive shrines I can see you're a man of taste, power, and piety, so I'll not mince words. My friends and I have a proposition for you. If you'd be so good, Mr. Artichoke..."

"Salvation, eh? Well, no offense to the Pontiff here," he nods at Paetros with a knowing wink, "but I am already devoted to Boss-Lady Fixer, Golden Goddess of the Working Class. Although something tells me you already know that."

Atlatl Jones wrote:
Gepetto Jack looks at the warforged and the small halfling child, and his chest fills with desire for both.

He bows obsequiously, with an oily smile. "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste."

"We have an offer that I'm sure you will find... most tempting."

OOC: Bluff 27 to conceal his desire for the warforged and halfling child, and to appear genuine and non-sinister.

If he notices Fagin's desire, he at least doesn't show it.


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 5:09 pm

Artichoke glances around the room, noting the mechanical war-machine and the shrine, but especially the latter, though he doesn't spend any time focusing on them, since the others are already doing so. Though it wouldn't do to tell the other members of the League, Captain has had enough experience with them to know that they're each remarkably competent in their own dysfunctional way. If there's something worthwhile to notice here, especially something valuable, one of them will.

So, after one casual look, Artichoke takes a step toward the desk and says, "Greetings, Mr Hob. Since you're clearly a person who likes to get straight to the point, I will. I'm Captain Artichoke and these are members of my League. Rumor says that you've long been interested in a certain eladrin goddess of the sea. I think I could, to put it bluntly, obtain her for you."

Artichoke falls silent, studying Hob minutely for a reaction.

OOC: Religion 18 (any info about the goblin deity?), Diplomacy 25, Insight 31.

BTW, did the eladrin tell us why Hob wanted their goddess? I've forgotten.


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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 5:09 pm

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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 6:39 pm

shilsen wrote:
"Greetings, Mr Hob. Since you're clearly a person who likes to get straight to the point, I will. I'm Captain Artichoke and these are members of my League. Rumor says that you've long been interested in a certain eladrin goddess of the sea. I think I could, to put it bluntly, obtain her for you."

Gadrun Hob smiles widely and stifles a laugh. "Well, you're a classier-looking operation than the other two crews who came by this morning making me the that offer. I'll tell you the same as I told them."

Gadrun stands up, his considerable bulk nearly filling the picture window behind him. He walks over to the altar and looks at it lovingly. "There is nothing in this world that I would rather see than Boss-Lady Fixer back in our temple amongst her faithful. Those were golden days for the goblins. There was pride then, stability, hope. Those of us with disabling deformities from the Aster she healed. And the rest, well, the rest she made better in other ways. We formed the unions, we turned the Shambles into a community, and we pulled ourselves out of the muck. If only a little."

He turns and walks back toward his desk, glancing out the window where a crowd of drunken goblins have tied a baby to a dog and are forcing the bound duo to fight a giant crab. "Now... without Her... now we have this."

Gadrun sits back down at his desk.

"Gentlemen, what would I do with Her if I had Her? Reinstate her in the temple and wait for the jackbooted thugs of the magistrates to march in and drag her back to their cock-sucking Eladrin masters? While killing a few hundred innocent goblins just to teach us a lesson? No. So what then? Hide her away in some private shrine, locked away from those who need her most? Nah, that would make me as bad as the Eladrin."

He takes a cigar out of his desk and and chomps on it unlit.

"If you're the ones who took her, I say bully for you, but I think you've got to give her back. There's no way this works out well for my people. Not that I can see anyway. But if you do have her, maybe think about doing one kind thing and bring her by the temple for a little visit. The sweet old lady's still there. The Boss-Lady's high priestess. It's been nearly forty years since she's laid eyes on the goddess she devoted her life to. It would be a nice thing if she could see Her one more time before she passes on."

shilsen wrote:
OOC: Religion 18 (any info about the goblin deity?), Diplomacy 25, Insight 31.

BTW, did the eladrin tell us why Hob wanted their goddess? I've forgotten.

OOC: The Eladrin told you that Lady Kommeral disappeared a couple centuries ago during a sea calamity. She turned up in the Port, being worshipped by the goblins. The Eladrin reclaimed her. In his editorials, Gadrun Hob stated that he wants her back for the goblin people.

You believe he's telling the truth. He could be holding something back, but you don't doubt his words.
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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 6:55 pm

gridley wrote:
Gadrun Hob smiles widely and stifles a laugh. "Well, you're a classier-looking operation than the other two crews who came by this morning making me the that offer. I'll tell you the same as I told them."

Interesting!

Quote :
"If you're the ones who took her, I say bully for you, but I think you've got to give her back. There's no way this works out well for my people. Not that I can see anyway. But if you do have her, maybe think about doing one kind thing and bring her by the temple for a little visit. The sweet old lady's still there. The Boss-Lady's high priestess. It's been nearly forty years since she's laid eyes on the goddess she devoted her life to. It would be a nice thing if she could see Her one more time before she passes on."

"I see. I think we can come to an understanding. Honestly," says Artichoke, surprisingly honestly, "We are not the ones who took ... the Boss-Lady. But, if we do obtain her, I would be happy to bring her by hear and let the priestess see her. Can you tell us about the two groups who made you the same offer? I'm presuming that one of them might be the ones with the Lady."
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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 7:10 pm

shilsen wrote:
"I see. I think we can come to an understanding. Honestly," says Artichoke, surprisingly honestly, "We are not the ones who took ... the Boss-Lady. But, if we do obtain her, I would be happy to bring her by hear and let the priestess see her. Can you tell us about the two groups who made you the same offer? I'm presuming that one of them might be the ones with the Lady."

"I thank you in advance for that. If you did so, I'd be much in your debt. A lot of information in this city makes its way across my desk. Maybe someday something I hear could end up being useful to your lot." He clears his throat. "As for those other mugs, I wouldn't waste any time chasing them down. They're just kids really. Local boys who saw or heard about the murdered gargoyles over at the Eladrin church, put two and two together, and figured they could make a buck off it."

OOC: Again, you're pretty sure he's being honest here. From the tone of his voice, you can tell that he thinks he's a pretty good judge of character and that his read of the other groups is correct.
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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 7:47 pm

gridley wrote:

He turns and walks back toward his desk, glancing out the window where a crowd of drunken goblins have tied a baby to a dog and are forcing the bound duo to fight a giant crab. "Now... without Her... now we have this."
"Their sense of sportsmanship has certainly taken a hit" mutters Yatagan. "The dog's armor is no match for the crab's."

Quote :
"...cock-sucking Eladrin..."
"Say, I like the way that scans". The Dragonborn poet jots the phase down in his notebook next to 'wine-dark sea'.

shilsen wrote:
"But, if we do obtain her, I would be happy to bring her by hear and let the priestess see her."
"I swear upon my gods we shall see this done!" says Yatagan enthusiastically while touching his codpiece in a reverent manner.

gridley wrote:
"As for those other mugs, I wouldn't waste any time chasing them down. They're just kids really. Local boys who saw or heard about the murdered gargoyles over at the Eladrin church, put two and two together, and figured they could make a buck off it."
"Just to be on safe side, perhaps you could name them anyway. We should leave no stone unbroken -- wait, that's not the saying in Common?. I promise you we'll favor mercy over justice. But we need to be thorough if this is to be settled rightly".
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PostSubject: Re: a deal with the devils   Wed May 05, 2010 8:12 pm

Mallus wrote:
"Just to be on safe side, perhaps you could name them anyway. We should leave no stone unbroken -- wait, that's not the saying in Common?. I promise you we'll favor mercy over justice. But we need to be thorough if this is to be settled rightly".

He think about this for a moment, then shakes his head. "No. Forgive me, but I can't betray them. Most of them were about the same age as my own son. And twice as foolish. Who know what they'll do if cornered. I will not be responsible for their blood being shed. Especially not in her name."
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