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 Lady Dandy's Dilemma

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 9:27 am

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:11 am

Rolzup wrote:
OOC: I could go on, but surely Artichoke will cut him off before much longer....

OOC: Pretty much, but since my internet issues mean I post more slowly than usual, you guys might as well assume Artichoke is a little slower on the uptake right now.

IC: Artichoke hands over the mask and, in response to Lord Lively's question, says, "Yes - Lord Dandy did examine the mask. As did his mage, Titus, who also performed a ritual to ascertain that it was safe. But a number of us were present at each point, so I believe it's unlikely that the item was actually tampered with." Interesting. I'd heard that there's some rivalry between the two, but I wonder if there's any other reason that Lively's unhappy about Dandy messing with the mask.


Artichoke: Diplomacy - 18, Insight - 12, Perception - 22

Christabel: Insight - 28, Perception - 29


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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 11:11 am

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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:33 pm

gridley wrote:
"Or rather his magician Titus did."
"I'm not familiar with that name. He must be new. You didn't happen to notice this Titus putting any curses on the mask? Or perhaps removing something?" His Lordship's tone is unconvincingly light.

Quote :
Insight: 11
Lord Lively is peeved.

overeddie wrote:
"Well now you've got a safer bauble for your decadent indulgence."
"Lovelier and lovelier. Please describe for me in detail how the mask came to latch onto Dandy's daughter and slaughter all those people at Made. It seemed a harmless objet d'art when I contracted to buy it."

shilsen wrote:
... so I believe it's unlikely that the item was actually tampered with."
"You do, do you? Well I'll find out soon enough..." Lord Lively's voice trails off and he pauses to think for a moment.

"I think I should like to hire you. You are, well, I've heard of number of curious rumors, but the bottom line is you work for coin, right? Someone attempted to steal the Mask of Cybelle from me last night. That... irks me. Find out who. If you weren't for you the mask would be lost to me --curse that fool Horsefeathers and his lax security. You've proven yourselves capable, now let's see if you're clever."

OOC: this is what the insightful and perceptive of you notice: Lord Lively is confused as to what's going on. He didn't expect to get the Mask back, certainly not after surmising that it fell into Lord Dandy's hands. He doesn't really trust you, but feels that keeping you around might reveal the truth of the incident. Or so it would seem.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:41 pm

shilsen wrote:
... but I wonder if there's any other reason that Lively's unhappy about Dandy messing with the mask.

Quote :
Christabel: Insight - 28
Christabel nudges Artichoke in the side and whispers "Lord Lively did mention that Lord Dandy also made an offer for the mask and was rejected."
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:48 pm

Mallus wrote:
It seemed a harmless objet d'art when I contracted to buy it."
"Art is never harmless. At least ideologically. This thing also seems to be able to cause hysteria in it's admirers forcing them to impale themselves razor-sharp coral. It's very curious. But I'm sure there is a rational explanation for it all."
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 2:55 pm

Mallus wrote:

"I think I should like to hire you. You are, well, I've heard of number of curious rumors, but the bottom line is you work for coin, right? Someone attempted to steal the Mask of Cybelle from me last night. That... irks me. Find out who. If you weren't for you the mask would be lost to me --curse that fool Horsefeathers and his lax security. You've proven yourselves capable, now let's see if you're clever."

Pætros nods quickly, taking another step forward. "Done! Is deal, yes, Vegetable Man?" Without waiting for an answer, he sidles a little closer to Lively and says in a stage whisper, "Was Petitioners, whoever they be."

Speaking in a normal tone, he adds, "Is to be paying now?"
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:06 pm

overeddie wrote:
But I'm sure there is a rational explanation for it all."
Lord Lively claps his hands together in feigned delight. "Of course there is, my small and strident friend! The mask is positively bursting with magic. Or at least it was."

Rolzup wrote:
"Was Petitioners, whoever they be."
"Really, my spies that have been watching the gallery since I bought the mask neglected to inform me of that little detail. What do I pay them for? Perhaps you can discover who hired the Petitioners? Oh, and they're a criminal syndicate of warlocks who worship powers Beyond-the-Sea."

Lord Lively takes a good look at Pætros's new hat of station. His eyes widen. "By the Duke's Horns, is that thing in fashion where you come from?!"
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:47 pm

Mallus wrote:

Rolzup wrote:
"Was Petitioners, whoever they be."
"Really, my spies that have been watching the gallery since I bought the mask neglected to inform me of that little detail. What do I pay them for? Perhaps you can discover who hired the Petitioners? Oh, and they're a criminal syndicate of warlocks who worship powers Beyond-the-Sea."

Lord Lively takes a good look at Pætros's new hat of station. His eyes widen. "By the Duke's Horns, is that thing in fashion where you come from?!"

Pætros adjust his headgear proudly. "Not yet. Not yet. Should ignite hat, display full glory...is building flammable?"
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 3:52 pm

Rolzup wrote:
Should ignite hat, display full glory...is building flammable?"
"I should think so, but the sea is not" says Lively with a smile as he looks to the escape boats that are provided by Governor's Decree to every Magistrate who presides over Rumcastle.

"Now details of the mask's attack, yes?"
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Fri Sep 18, 2009 6:49 pm

Mallus wrote:
"I think I should like to hire you. You are, well, I've heard of number of curious rumors, but the bottom line is you work for coin, right? Someone attempted to steal the Mask of Cybelle from me last night. That... irks me. Find out who. If you weren't for you the mask would be lost to me --curse that fool Horsefeathers and his lax security. You've proven yourselves capable, now let's see if you're clever."

Bingo! Since I was going to have to investigate the Petitioners' involvement, this ensures we get paid for doing it. And doing it on the say-so of a Magistrate should ... or might make things a little safer. Artichoke bows and says, "Certainly, Lord Lively. While my people and I have certain issues we're currently involved with or investigating, I'll make sure to devote much of our resources to this matter. As for the matter of payment, I believe you mentioned a reward for returning your mask. We can consider that a retainer for this matter, with more required only in the case of our success - or if we incur expenses in pursuit of this job."

"I have just a couple of questions about it - Do you simply want the names of the people who hired the Petitioners? Or would you like us to bring these people to ... justice?"

Rolzup wrote:
Should ignite hat, display full glory...is building flammable?"

Quote :
"I should think so, but the sea is not" says Lively with a smile as he looks to the escape boats that are provided by Governor's Decree to every Magistrate who presides over Rumcastle.

Artichoke sighs and says, "Pætros, perhaps we could demonstrate the glories of your hat after we finish discussing the matter? Maybe outdoors too?"

Quote :
"Now details of the mask's attack, yes?"

Artichoke proceeds to narrate what happened, leaving out anything about Larkspur having attempted to hire the League.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Sat Sep 19, 2009 10:46 am

shilsen wrote:
As for the matter of payment, I believe you mentioned a reward for returning your mask. We can consider that a retainer for this matter, with more required only in the case of our success - or if we incur expenses in pursuit of this job."
"Did I now? I can't seem to recall. Memories, like pleasures, are so fleeing, especially when no contracts were signed. But... by all accounts you subdued the spirit of the mask, no doubt saved lives, and returned my property to me. For that, a five hundred gold coins.

Quote :
"Do you simply want the names of the people who hired the Petitioners?
"Simply? Oh yes, do such a simple thing for me. For that, five thousand Guv'nors.

Quote :
Or would you like us to bring these people to ... justice?"
"By all means! Find them and kill them. I'll give you fifty thousand, a prince's sum. It's worth beggaring myself for unleash such grand entertainment." He giggles uncontrollably, then suddenly stops, looking stricken.

Rolzup wrote:
Maybe outdoors too?"
OOC: you are outdoors, in a gazebo on the docks.

Quote :
"
Artichoke proceeds to narrate what happened, leaving out anything about Larkspur having attempted to hire the League.
Lord Lively listens intently. His face registers open surprise as you describe the mask's animation. Also, fear. By the end he looks disappointed. "So she's gone, eh? Or destroyed? Well, my... specialists will answer that soon enough. Such a shame. I wonder if I can hold anyone liable? Fortunately I had a Tiefling draw up the contract. Speaking of, if you give me a moment I shall have yours drawn up, for services you are about to render. Fortunately I am surrounded by clerks fluent in Infernal, as well as sloe-eyed killers in smart uniforms. Life is good."

He pauses.

"I should mention that I can also render part of your payments in something more powerful than money. Pleasure. No, make that joy, simple, pure, unalloyed. One could say I am a connoisseur of it, I collect it. For the right people I release it, in forms unimagined by your --he glances at Lizzie-- workmanlike souls."

OOC: a note about money. I'm officially decoupling magic items from the cash economy. Dandy's offering you a fortune (if you can kill the person or person's responsible for the attempted theft. As for magic items, either you keep and use what you find, or they go into the 'trade-in' pile, which pays for your reequipping when your characters gain a level.

If you really want to, you can use still use 'princely sums' of gold to buy/commission/pay people to steal powerful magic items, but we'll just wing the price. The book's hyperinflated prices are out.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:31 pm

Mallus wrote:
"Did I now? I can't seem to recall. Memories, like pleasures, are so fleeing, especially when no contracts were signed. But... by all accounts you subdued the spirit of the mask, no doubt saved lives, and returned my property to me. For that, a five hundred gold coins.

That's a nice start, thinks Artichoke. Aloud, he says, "Thank you, Lord Lively. That's very kind."

Quote :
"Simply? Oh yes, do such a simple thing for me. For that, five thousand Guv'nors.

And ... damn! That's really good. Or is he just being sarcastic? I wish I could tell for sure.

Quote :
"By all means! Find them and kill them. I'll give you fifty thousand, a prince's sum. It's worth beggaring myself for unleash such grand entertainment." He giggles uncontrollably, then suddenly stops, looking stricken.

He's got to be kidding me! Artichoke barely keeps himself from gaping at the sum being mentioned and then, after careful thought, says slowly, "That would be exceedingly generous, Lord Lively. Rest assured that we shall dedicate all of our resources to this task."

Quote :
Lord Lively listens intently. His face registers open surprise as you describe the mask's animation. Also, fear. By the end he looks disappointed. "So she's gone, eh? Or destroyed? Well, my... specialists will answer that soon enough. Such a shame. I wonder if I can hold anyone liable? Fortunately I had a Tiefling draw up the contract. Speaking of, if you give me a moment I shall have yours drawn up, for services you are about to render. Fortunately I am surrounded by clerks fluent in Infernal, as well as sloe-eyed killers in smart uniforms. Life is good."

At any other time, Artichoke would be highly wary of drawing up any such contract. But the thought of the promised reward makes him simply nod quickly.

Quote :
He pauses.

"I should mention that I can also render part of your payments in something more powerful than money. Pleasure. No, make that joy, simple, pure, unalloyed. One could say I am a connoisseur of it, I collect it. For the right people I release it, in forms unimagined by your --he glances at Lizzie-- workmanlike souls."


Pleasure? With that kind of money I can have all the pleasure I want, thank you. Artichoke says nothing for a moment, visions dancing in his mind of all the things he could do with that volume of cash. Then he says, again quite slowly and carefully, "I appreciate the offer, Lord Lively, but I think it's safer - and much neater - to stick to money. Though my companions are free to take their shares," he adds, emphasizing the word, "In ... pleasure, if they wish."

Quote :
OOC: a note about money. I'm officially decoupling magic items from the cash economy. Dandy's offering you a fortune (if you can kill the person or person's responsible for the attempted theft. As for magic items, either you keep and use what you find, or they go into the 'trade-in' pile, which pays for your reequipping when your characters gain a level.

If you really want to, you can use still use 'princely sums' of gold to buy/commission/pay people to steal powerful magic items, but we'll just wing the price. The book's hyperinflated prices are out.

Fine by me.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:47 pm

Mallus wrote:
"I should mention that I can also render part of your payments in something more powerful than money. Pleasure. No, make that joy, simple, pure, unalloyed. One could say I am a connoisseur of it, I collect it. For the right people I release it, in forms unimagined by your --he glances at Lizzie-- workmanlike souls."

"Pleasure?" says Odanais. "I like pleasure. If you would, sire, tell us more of this... pleasure."
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:13 pm

"Money is good. With money, peoples can make proper tithing to church of Pig-God," Pætros pauses significantly, looking at his various companions, "And besides, old wives wrong. Money CAN buy happiness. Poverty do not buy shit."
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:22 pm

"Money is a poor substitute for power." Lizzy notes.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:24 pm

shilsen wrote:
At any other time, Artichoke would be highly wary of drawing up any such contract. But the thought of the promised reward makes him simply nod quickly.

"Excellent." The assembled clerks quickly craft a contract. Their muttering in Infernal is disconcerting, however none appear to be native speakers, as their accent does not induce bleeding.

It's a simple thing. Payment due for services rendered. No clauses enumerating the penalties for failure. Translating from boilerplate into the vernacular, it's all carrot and no stick, though when Artichoke finishes signing it he looks up into the smiling face of Lord Lively who says "Though I shall be somewhat disappointed should you fail to deliver".

shilsen wrote:
"I appreciate the offer, Lord Lively, but I think it's safer - and much neater - to stick to money."
"Money is inefficient. It's quicker to traffic in desire" snaps Lord Lively absently.

gridley wrote:
If you would, sire, tell us more of this... pleasure."
"It cannot be described, only experienced. I happen to have a sample right here, should any of you wish to partake". He produces an ivory wand tipped with a shifting, varicolored gem from a pocket of his shifting, varicolored jacked.

Rolzup wrote:
Poverty do not buy shit."
overeddie wrote:
"Money is a poor substitute for power."
"You'll be driving the other Port religions out of business in no time" observes Lord Lively.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 2:02 pm

Mallus wrote:
"It cannot be described, only experienced. I happen to have a sample right here, should any of you wish to partake". He produces an ivory wand tipped with a shifting, varicolored gem from a pocket of his shifting, varicolored jacked.

"If the sample is free," says Odanais, "then who am I to turn down such a generous offer? Please proceed."
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 3:47 pm

gridley wrote:
"Please proceed."
OOC: oh good...

Lord Lively lifts his ivory wand and points it Odanais. Pastel rays play lightly over the sorcerer's body for a moment. The multicolored jewel at the tip of the wand beats briefly like a mortal heart.

Odanais takes a sharp, sudden breath...

...as terror, then elation fills his chest. He's about to fall from an enormous height into an ocean made of his sister's body. No, bodies. Ten thousand alabaster arms form the froth of a wave reaching up to him. The air is all skin and salt and the fading deliriants consumed in their last, laughing hour. She is reaching...

Then nothing. Lord Lively giggles. It sounds harsh to Odanais's ear, like a gander being castrated.

OOC: would anyone else like to do something? Should we move on? And where?
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:09 pm

Mallus wrote:
OOC: would anyone else like to do something? Should we move on? And where?
ooc: All this decadence is making Lizzy want to kill something.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:17 pm

overeddie wrote:
All this decadence is making Lizzy want to kill something.
OOC: sounds like the perfect time to interview Armand Rum's rich, spoiled, liquor-sodden relatives! Conveniently, they're right around the corner...
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:25 pm

Mallus wrote:
OOC: sounds like the perfect time to interview Armand Rum's rich, spoiled, liquor-sodden relatives! Conveniently, they're right around the corner...
OOC: Don't tease me. I'm sure Chokey is gonna be all, "No we can't KILL them. It might anger a potential customer!" Thus highlighting why you should never fight for money.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:58 pm

Mallus wrote:
OOC: would anyone else like to do something? Should we move on? And where?

Moving on is fine, presumably to the Rum Bunch, as you suggested.

BTW, what sort of IC info do our PCs have about them?

overeddie wrote:
OOC: All this decadence is making Lizzy want to kill something.

overeddie wrote:
OOC: Don't tease me. I'm sure Chokey is gonna be all, "No we can't KILL them. It might anger a potential customer!" Thus highlighting why you should never fight for money.

Heh!

BTW, just in case it wasn't clear, Artichoke wanting to take the safest, most pragmatic and (above all) most lucrative approach to all things doesn't mean that I (as the player) feel a need to do that too. So while poor Artichoke might get an aneurysm if you decide to negotiate axe-first with the Rum Bunch, I'm just fine with it. I'm especially used to separating PC and player preferences with this group. Once upon a time, Artichoke had a clever idea for infiltrating a church full of crazed acolytes. And midway through breaking in secretly via a rear entrance, discovered that Yatagan (and a couple of others) was firing rockets in the front door. Artichoke wanted to strangle Yatagan, whereas I almost pissed myself laughing.
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:59 pm

OOC: There's little else to keep Pætros here -- were he the sort, this bottled pleasure would strike him as an excellent way to gain converts quickly, granting them a glimpse of heaven...but at heart, he's simply not that cynical. And he's arrogant enough to think that he won't need any help making Pig-Godism a powerful religion.

"Yes, yes, very good. Stick makes pretty-boy stare into space. Not difficult trick." Pætros clears his throat. "If to be finding mask-thief, should be leaving and looking. Don't know city, but can cast divinations. Doing so in presence of Pig-God should help make easier, maybe better."
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PostSubject: Re: Lady Dandy's Dilemma   Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:31 am

Mallus wrote:
Lord Lively lifts his ivory wand and points it Odanais. Pastel rays play lightly over the sorcerer's body for a moment. The multicolored jewel at the tip of the wand beats briefly like a mortal heart.

Odanais takes a sharp, sudden breath...

...as terror, then elation fills his chest. He's about to fall from an enormous height into an ocean made of his sister's body. No, bodies. Ten thousand alabaster arms form the froth of a wave reaching up to him. The air is all skin and salt and the fading deliriants consumed in their last, laughing hour. She is reaching...

Then nothing. Lord Lively giggles. It sounds harsh to Odanais's ear, like a gander being castrated.

Odanais comes to slowly, his eyes rolling back into place to glare at Lord Lively. "Thanks all the same, but I think we'll stick with money."

He begins to turn away when something visibly occurs to him. "Say, what do they call that trick on the street? I remember a friend of a friend... this cat from around these parts named Armand... describing something similar. You know who I mean by any chance?"

Bluff: 22


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