Captain Clagoff

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

The four members of the League who had gone to visit Clarissa Glossop return late in the afternoon, much the worse for wear but at least all whole and (fairly) hale, to rest up before heading over to the Ethical Circus to meet Captain Clagoff. Heyoka, Asarlai and L have had a much less interesting day thus far, with no trouble at the Hall.

OOC: I'll assume the four who went to Clarissa fill the others in on what transpired. Do any other posting and planning you need to, and let me know when you head to Clagoff.

Posts : 799 Join date : 2008-08-21

"...and all I'm saying," Vox is saying as he opens the door, "Is that leaving the pig in charge is not necessarily a good idea."

He makes a gesture to Agenbite that clearly indicates that he would like some wine, of a respectable vintage, delivered to the table he's currently seating himself at.

The gesture that he recieves in response is equally clear, and considered quite rude in most circles.

Vox lowers his head and sighs. "I'm meant for better this this," he quietly informs the table.

"So," he continues, raising his voice, "What do you intend to do with Clagoff? Threaten him, bribe him, offer to sell your story? The Amazing and Most Comical Historie Of the Miracle Pigge would make a hell of a play."

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

Rolzup wrote:: "What do you intend to do with Clagoff? Threaten him, bribe him...

"Yes" interjects Yatagan.

Quote :: The Amazing and Most Comical Historie Of the Miracle Pigge would make a hell of a play."

"Say, I like that. My working title was 'Porky and Bless'd'".

Posts : 900 Join date : 2008-08-22

Rolzup wrote:: "The Amazing and Most Comical Historie Of the Miracle Pigge would make a hell of a play."

Mallus wrote:: "Say, I like that. My working title was 'Porky and Bless'd'".

Odanais guffaws at that. "I was going to suggest 'The Miracle Porker', but I think I like yours better."

Posts : 174 Join date : 2008-08-27

Rolzup wrote:: "So," he continues, raising his voice, "What do you intend to do with Clagoff? Threaten him, bribe him, offer to sell your story? The Amazing and Most Comical Historie Of the Miracle Pigge would make a hell of a play."

"Personally, I'd just eliminate him using force." Penelope smiles briefly at the idea and then sighs. "But I don't want us all to die, so a more diplomatic approach," she says with mild disdain, "seems necessary. I think I won't even open my mouth when we go meet him..."

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Is there anything else you guys are going to do or need to discuss, or should we move on to Clagoff?

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

OOC: Yatagan has a plan. Hold off a bit.

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

Penelope wrote:: "But I don't want us all to die, so a more diplomatic approach,"

Yatagan smiles at this.

Quote :: I think I won't even open my mouth when we go meet him."

Still smiling, Yatagan says, "If you feel moved to talk, just start shooting. It'll save time. And here, Ms. Pindar, I believe the circlet will look better on you." He removes the Circlet of Second Chances and --carefully- hand it to the black-clad archer.

"Diplomacy will be... difficult." admits Yatagan. "We have his property, justified though we were in taking it. I mean her." He checks behind him for an angry pig. "The captain's pride will drive him to draw swords... unless we can use that pride to make him draw something else..."

Yatagan breathes deeply.

"We need to find a printer. We'll paper the Quadrille and the docks with bill-posts announcing our challenge: The Miracle Pig Theater Company challenges Captain Clagoff to a duel to see which is mightier, the pen or the sword. A play writing competition, winner takes home the bacon. And should one company die by violence beforehand, it shall be considered forfeiture by the survivors, an admission of their inferior artistry!"

"We'll post those, wait a few hours, then meet with Clagoff. Should make him more amenable".

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: OOC: Yatagan has a plan. Hold off a bit.

Certainly. I love cunning plans. They always lead to much worse mayhem than the DM could come up with.

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

shilsen wrote:: I love cunning plans.

I wouldn't get your hopes up...

Posts : 174 Join date : 2008-08-27

"Thanks," Penelope says, taking the circlet. She examines the item briefly, wondering rather pointlessly if a circlet makes one look less or more imposing.

"That plan is a little... complicated, I'd say, but I don't have an issue going by it." After a moment, she frowns and adds, "Unless Clagoff wins in some way and becomes rightfully entitled to Treasure."

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

Penelope wrote:: "That plan is a little... complicated, I'd say, but I don't have an issue going by it."

"Nonviolence is complicated" says Yatagan sagely.

Quote :: "Unless Clagoff wins in some way and becomes rightfully entitled to Treasure."

"The way I see it, if we lose a contest of arms, we likely die. If we lose a play writing competition, we'll be honor-bound to give Treasure to Clagoff, then we steal her back from the Ethical Circus".

"Does anyone have another plan?"

Posts : 900 Join date : 2008-08-22

Penelope wrote:: "Unless Clagoff wins in some way and becomes rightfully entitled to Treasure."

"Well, we're not above cheating," says Odanais.

Posts : 799 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: "Does anyone have another plan?"

"We could steal another giant pig, butcher it -- humanely, of course -- and then animate the corpse and give that to Clagoff," Vox suggests. "Couldn't do the animation myself, you understand, but I know a guy."

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

gridley wrote:: "Well, we're not above cheating," says Odanais.

"It would be a sin not to employ cunning".

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Rolzup wrote:: "We could steal another giant pig, butcher it -- humanely, of course -- and then animate the corpse and give that to Clagoff," Vox suggests. "Couldn't do the animation myself, you understand, but I know a guy."

And this, Scott, is why I always get my hopes up with you guys!

Posts : 174 Join date : 2008-08-27

"No way," Penelope says, glaring at Vox. "We are not turning an innocent pig into a zombie. Unless you can ask it, 'Hey, do you want to be butchered and turned into an undead creature so we can give you to the Ethical Circus' and it consents, that is not happening."

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

"Objection noted, Ms. Pindar. No zombie pig. Any more suggestions? Could we be missing something obvious?"

In the meantime Yatagan takes out his writing set and begins jotting down notes for the play. "Let's see... " he mutters aloud, "it's about a good man named Porky, who's crippled --the audience will eat that up-- who saves a holy pig from an evil pirate king .. with a peg-leg... called Crown, yes... and a fight manager from the Circus, maybe Sportin' Life... and there's a trip to the Other Side. Oh, and wraiths in gauzy costumes. Wait, make that sexy wraiths. And we can pour buckets of water on them during the musical number... right! It's going to be a musical! With fencing, or maybe a knife-fight..."

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: "Objection noted, Ms. Pindar. No zombie pig. Any more suggestions? Could we be missing something obvious?"

OOC: One thing you guys would know is that organizing mass printing of posters and then having them made and put up in multiple places would take more than this one evening. So if you do that before you meet with Clagoff, it would be late in the day tomorrow at the earliest, which would put you past the 24-hr warning he gave you. Of course, you could meet with him and have the posters being made simultaneously.

Also, in case this matters to your plans, the magistrate now in charge of the Ethical Circus district after the recent reshuffling is Lord Dandy, who is highly opposed to the blood sports. So the arenas will be closed and functioning in other capacities (including a couple as theaters) until a more amenable magistrate takes over. Some blood sport will still occur, but it will be much more surreptitious than before.

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

shilsen wrote:: OOC: One thing you guys would know is that organizing mass printing of posters and then having them made and put up in multiple places would take more than this one evening.

OOC: Sounds reasonable. Maybe we don't need the posters. They were just to increase the likelihood Clagoff accepts the play writing challenge (if we go that route).

All we really need do is provide him with a reason he shouldn't try to kill us. Maybe we can imply we're under the protection of Magistrate Petard? We did publicly accuse the man of pederasty and suffer no ill consequence...

Quote :: Also, in case this matters to your plans, the magistrate now in charge of the Ethical Circus district after the recent reshuffling is Lord Dandy, who is highly opposed to the blood sports. So the arenas will be closed and functioning in other capacities (including a couple as theaters) until a more amenable magistrate takes over.

I love it when a half-baked plan comes together.

Quote :: Some blood sport will still occur, but it will be much more surreptitious than before.

Only if we lose...

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: All we really need do is provide him with a reason he shouldn't try to kill us. Maybe we can imply we're under the protection of Magistrate Petard? We did publicly accuse the man of pederasty and suffer no ill consequence...

Why not? It's not like that could go at all badly.

Quote :: I love it when a half-baked plan comes together.

Rope, meet PCs. PCs, meet...

Quote :: Only if we lose.

Hmm. Note to self...

Posts : 1428 Join date : 2008-08-22

shilsen wrote:: Why not? It's not like that could go at all badly.

Fortune favors the bold. And the shortsighted, so long as they jump ship at the right time.

(If the play is too baroque, or stupid, we could try the time-honored bribe-->threaten-->incinerate chain.)

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

Mallus wrote:: Fortune favors the bold. And the shortsighted, so long as they jump ship at the right time.

Does this group ever jump ship, or do anything, at the right/same time?

Quote :: (If the play is too baroque, or stupid, we could try the time-honored bribe-->threaten-->incinerate chain.)

Of course. Or whatever other strange/amusing plan you guys come up with at the time. Don't worry - I'm not assuming anything.

So, any more plans, or off to Clagoff?

Posts : 900 Join date : 2008-08-22

OOC: What are we going to do about Treasure? It would not do at all to go off fighting for her and then return home to find she'd been taken by the ratboys while we were out?

Posts : 1078 Join date : 2008-08-21

gridley wrote:: OOC: What are we going to do about Treasure? It would not do at all to go off fighting for her and then return home to find she'd been taken by the ratboys while we were out?

The lycanthropes, you mean? They seemed more interested in shaking you guy down for some money than stealing Treasure, actually, and you do have a small group of Treasure-worshippers to keep an eye on the place. Most are not much good in a fight, of course, but they can create a fair ruckus if nothing else. Also, if some people don't do any posting, we can assume they were left behind to watch your piggy-wiggy.

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