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 O brave new world, that has such people in't!

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Mallus

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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sat Dec 27, 2008 10:39 pm

shilsen wrote:
Now I just have to go off and calculate the DC and psychic damage inflicted by well-aimed iambic pentameter.
DMG page 42.
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sat Dec 27, 2008 11:19 pm

gridley wrote:
"Look, you charlatan," shouts Odanais, "our little crew doesn't do well with bureaucracies, eternal or otherwise. Authority figures who spend any amount of time around us typically end dead, slandered, ruined or insane. And the last person who sought us out of their own free will ended up betraying us. So I really do not see how the business arrangement you propose could be advantageous to either party."

Vox raises an eyebrow. "I'll point out that you, yourself, are going to die sooner or...well, probably sooner, from the way you people carry on. Let me assure you: You want to have as many allies on the Other Side as you can find. You've already managed to make an unlikely number of enemies, you know.

"And as for myself, death holds no terror -- I belong to a very good union. I'm already pretty much ruined, I've no reputation to slander, and insanity? Is entirely relative."
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:57 am

Moving on...

The next morning, the members of the League awake to the sound of a light drizzle and the anguished cries of Agenbite attempting vainly to stop Treasure from rooting for truffles in the wine cellar.

When people descend from their rooms, they find more evidence of their growing fame/notoriety. A small group of people are waiting to see the Miracle Pig and its clergy. Their appearance and clothing indicates that these are mostly among the poorer members of the Stagger, which might also explain the cries of "Miracle Pig, grant us ham!" or "No, bacon! Bacon's better!" which greet the League when they see them.

Agenbite wanders over, smelling strongly of Treasure, and mutters, "Those bozos came in a little earlier. I got them buying drinks now, but I bet we could charge 'em even more to be blessed by the dam..." He notices Penelope and quickly shifts to, "...wondrous pig!" Agenbite jerks his head to indicate a burly man carrying an infant. "Like that guy. He wants his kid blessed by Treasure."

Whatever the League decides to do with the pig-worshippers, it doesn't end the influx of petitioners - or the variety. During breakfast, a little girl comes in crying, asking if they will get her kitten out of a tree. Which is a slightly less complicated issue than the housewife who slips in later, wearing a poorly-constructed disguise, and attempts to put a hit on her mother-in-law with the League. "I mean," she whispers, "You people are assassins, right?"

Fame, it seems, has found the League.
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:03 am

shilsen wrote:

When people descend from their rooms, they find more evidence of their growing fame/notoriety. A small group of people are waiting to see the Miracle Pig and its clergy. Their appearance and clothing indicates that these are mostly among the poorer members of the Stagger, which might also explain the cries of "Miracle Pig, grant us ham!" or "No, bacon! Bacon's better!" which greet the League when they see them.

Odanais rubs some dust out of his eyes and has Agenbite pour him a glass of brandy to re-moisten his tongue, then turns to the crowd and gives a brief sermon [Religion check 20 + 11 = 31] to Treasure's followers on the subject of how Treasure has chosen to live here in the Stagger with them, her chosen people and how she will lift up the Stagger to new greatness. "But there are evil forces at work! Foul cretins who want the blessings of the Miracle Pig upon their neighborhoods instead of yours! In fact, just last night Treasure told me that men from the Ethical Circus would come for her soon so we must all be vigilant!"

shilsen wrote:
Agenbite wanders over, smelling strongly of Treasure, and mutters, "Those bozos came in a little earlier. I got them buying drinks now, but I bet we could charge 'em even more to be blessed by the dam..." He notices Penelope and quickly shifts to, "...wondrous pig!" Agenbite jerks his head to indicate a burly man carrying an infant. "Like that guy. He wants his kid blessed by Treasure."

Odanais acknowledges the family and gestures for them to bring him their child. He carries the infant over to Treasure, careful to keep it out of biting range. He gives his Treasure a loving stroke with his free hand and then casts Light upon the baby for a few seconds, removing the spell once everyone in the bar has had a chance to see. Then he returns the baby to her parents, letting them know that Treasure has blessed their child.

shilsen wrote:
Whatever the League decides to do with the pig-worshippers, it doesn't end the influx of petitioners - or the variety. During breakfast, a little girl comes in crying, asking if they will get her kitten out of a tree.

Odanais, now growing a bit bored of manipulating the crowd, tells the little girl to lead him to the tree. Once there, Odanais will cast mage hand to gently pull her cat out from its branch and place it in her arms. Then he has a cigarette and makes his slow way back to the bar.

shilsen wrote:

Fame, it seems, has found the League.

And we shall wield it like a knife.


Last edited by gridley on Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:06 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:03 am

The member 'gridley' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:35 am

As much as I cherish Treasure, she is just a pig, thinks Penelope after seeing the group of people. But fuck it. I'll work with this...

After Odanais has spoken about the divinity of the pig, the archer, raising her voice, says, "As the... uh... priestess... of our dear and beautiful Treasure, I must let you all know the she cherishes the sanctity of other animals. Evil against them will put you out of her favor." Tapping her bow, Penelope adds, "It will put you out of my favor as well. We'll know."
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:10 am

gridley wrote:
Odanais rubs some dust out of his eyes and has Agenbite pour him a glass of brandy to re-moisten his tongue, then turns to the crowd and gives a brief sermon [Religion check 20 + 11 = 31] to Treasure's followers on the subject of how Treasure has chosen to live here in the Stagger with them, her chosen people and how she will lift up the Stagger to new greatness. "But there are evil forces at work! Foul cretins who want the blessings of the Miracle Pig upon their neighborhoods instead of yours! In fact, just last night Treasure told me that men from the Ethical Circus would come for her soon so we must all be vigilant!"

The people listen with rapt attention to Odanais' speech, and when he finishes, there is pin-drop silence. Then a couple of them give a cheer, which instantly leads to the entire group following suit. Even a couple of the drunks hanging around in the tavern join in. One of the more vocal - or gullible - men stands up and says, "Nobody takes away our Miracle Pig! We will help to protect her from the Ethical Circus!" A ragged chorus of "Yeah"s follows.

Penelope wrote:
As much as I cherish Treasure, she is just a pig, thinks Penelope after seeing the group of people. But fuck it. I'll work with this...

After Odanais has spoken about the divinity of the pig, the archer, raising her voice, says, "As the... uh... priestess...
of our dear and beautiful Treasure, I must let you all know the she
cherishes the sanctity of other animals. Evil against them will put you
out of her favor." Tapping her bow, Penelope adds, "It will put you out
of my favor as well. We'll know."

There is an even longer silence this time, and then most of the crowd quickly and fervently nod their heads in agreement. One bold person raises a hand and asks hesitantly, "We can still eat them, right? Like the holy food?" He holds up a crumbling and half-eaten pork bun in a trembling hand.

shilsen wrote:
Odanais acknowledges the family and gestures for them to bring him their child. He carries the infant over to Treasure, careful to keep it out of biting range. He gives his Treasure a loving stroke with his free hand and then casts Light upon the baby for a few seconds, removing the spell once everyone in the bar has had a chance to see. Then he returns the baby to her parents, letting them know that Treasure has blessed their child.

A chorus of "Ooh"s and "Aah"s breaks out, and there is a rush of people seeking to be blessed by the Miracle Pig, and there is a mild commotion in the tavern for a time while blessings are bestowed. Treasure, surprisingly, takes it all with great equanimity, though even the pig seems a little relieved when the petitioners take their leave. Before they go, a couple of them promise to watch the Hall in case anyone tries to steal the Miracle Pig. One of the more enterprising one asks, "Any chance we could get paid for that?"

Quote :
Odanais, now growing a bit bored of manipulating the crowd, tells the little girl to lead him to the tree. Once there, Odanais will cast mage hand to gently pull her cat out from its branch and place it in her arms. Then he has a cigarette and makes his slow way back to the bar.

The kitten, after clawing vainly at the branch, is carried through the air, squalling at the top of its lungs. The little girl grasps it firmly as it reaches her and turns to Odanais with a huge smile on her grubby face. "Tanks, mister! You're awesome!" Then she turns and runs off down the street, shouting happily, "Mommy, Mommy - the nice man got my pussy!"

Quote :
And we shall wield it like a knife.

Excellent! Here, have some rope Smile
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:18 am

Quote :

There is an even longer silence this time, and then most of the crowd quickly and fervently nod their heads in agreement. One bold person raises a hand and asks hesitantly, "We can still eat them, right? Like the holy food?" He holds up a crumbling and half-eaten pork bun in a trembling hand.

"Yes," Penelope says, laughing somewhat meanly at the trembling man. "Practicality is one thing. And killing or eating an animal for food is practical. Spending what little money you have betting on animal fights at the Ethical Circus, however... don't think for a moment Treasure will let something like that slide."
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shilsen

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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:58 am

Penelope wrote:
"Yes," Penelope says, laughing somewhat meanly at the trembling man. "Practicality is one thing. And killing or eating an animal for food is practical. Spending what little money you have betting on animal fights at the Ethical Circus, however... don't think for a moment Treasure will let something like that slide."

"O...okay," says the man with a weak, if relieved, smile. But neither he, nor any of the others, dare to eat any of the holy pies while in the same room as the archer.
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 12:33 pm

"I'm really not sure whether I should be impressed or appalled," Vox says sotto voce to Yatigan as he watches Odanais at work. "Both, I suppose. It's like art. Blasphemous, profane art, but masterfully done. So, ah...what's the story with the pig? I'd heard you people had a god on the premises, but I was under the impression that it was somewhat smaller. And significantly less porcine."
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 6:23 pm

As the League members are finishing up breakfast and deciding what they will be doing today, one more visitor steps through the door. Or rather, poses in the doorway in what he presumes must cut a dramatic pose. The newcomer, admittedly, is dressed splendidly, the piece de resistance of the ensemble being a scarlet greatcoat. The effect is spoilt a little by the fact that the figure is that of a dwarf, the greatcoat making him appear wider than he already is. And the visage, which is unusually hairy even by dwarven standards and, frankly, a little mousy.

As the dwarf walks forward, a couple of the more sober patrons recognize him and head for the door, carefully avoiding him and making their way around the two scruffy looking dwarves who follow him into the Hall. Just about everyone in the League recognizes him too, by reputation and description if not by sight.

This is "Handsome" Hans Pitir, the self-proclaimed Rat King. He controls a few blocks of the Stagger near the waterfront, a few streets over from the Hall, making his living via extortion and robbery. He's openly known to be a wererat and a dangerous fighter, who uses a tiny band of other wererats and a small army of rodents to terrorize and assault his enemies. Hans is just a small-time thug with pretensions of grandeur, and people expect him to fall afoul of one of the real crime lords of the Stagger sooner or later.

Hans exudes confidence - and the faint whiff of sodden fur - as he swaggers up to the table occupied by the largest number of the League members and grabs an occupied chair from a nearby table, sending the unfortunate owner to the floor. Pulling it up to the table, he drops into the chair, leans back and grins viciously, revealing a row of yellow fangs. Perhaps coincidentally, Hans' coat swings open, revealing a small arsenal. "Hello, neighbours," Hans says, and then looks around the room. "Nice place you got here. Can't believe I never came by to say 'hello'." He glances at Treasure, who is lying comfortably near the bar. "'Course, you never had a special pig before." He sniggers.
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 6:45 pm

Vox opens his mouth and starts to speak, but then catches a glimpse of Penelope's expression.

He bites off whatever he was about to say, leans back in his chair, and puts his feet up on the table.

Probably the cleanest thing that's ever been on it, he muses, and turns to whoever's closest. "This," he confides, "Ought to be a positive delight to watch."
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 8:43 pm

The archer, perhaps not yet having dealt with the irritation caused by the Treasure worshipers, is visibly livid about Hans' entry into the tavern. Once he has spoken, Penelope reaches over the table and backhands him - hard.

"You sir," she says, her voice commanding, "are a guest. You will not knock people off their chairs. You will, rather, pay proper respect to the damn people here or remove yourself from my home." She smiles sardonically at the newcomer. "You understand?"
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:46 pm

Quote :
"Nice place you got here. Can't believe I never came by to say 'hello'." He glances at Treasure, who is lying comfortably near the bar. "'Course, you never had a special pig before." He sniggers.

Unable to remember whether any of his allies carry silvered weapons, Odanais readies Maze of Mirrors to cast if the rat goes for his weapon.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but our pig doesn't date rats," he says, making eye contact with Hans. "Was there anything else or we done here?"
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 9:50 pm

Hans frowns and is about to reply to Odanais, when Penelope makes her move. Clearly not expecting the response, Hans' head snaps backwards and he almost falls out of the chair. He leaps to his feet and backs away towards the door, face bruised by Penelope's knuckles, but the mark is swiftly fading, as the wounds of lycanthropes habitually do if not inflicted by a silver weapon. Above the bruise, his eyes are red and feral, all pretense at urbanity gone now. Hans snarls, baring his fangs, and saliva flecks his beard as he stammers, "You ... you ..."

His shoulder bumps against that of one of his lieutenants, both of whom have drawn short swords and stepped forward, and the sight seems to bring a little sanity to him. But clearly no less anger. "You," he says, pointing at Penelope, and then swinging his arm to encompass all of the League, "Have no idea who you're dealing with! I was prepared to offer you some friendly protection, but ... fuck that now! You're going to pay double," he rants, apparently having forgotten that he hasn't actually named any price, "If you want to live." Hans half-smiles, caught between amusement and rage. "Unless you want to be eaten alive by rats someday!"
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:34 pm

As Penelope draws her bow and aims an arrow at Hans, she says, "You rude, fat mouse... we wouldn't want your protection, and we sure as hell aren't going to tolerate you threatening us. So get the hell out, now."
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Sun Dec 28, 2008 11:12 pm

Odanais readies Sleep on Hans & company to be triggered by any clear sign of serious aggression (from either them or Penelope).
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:19 am

Hans' eyes glow red as Penelope calls him a mouse and he snarls as she levels an arrow in his direction, but apparently he's not willing to try anything here. He backs away till he is halfway through the door and then pauses, spittle flying in his fury, "You'll pay for this, bitch! All of you!" He turns and rushes out, followed by the other two dwarves.

As they exit, Hans emits a shrill whistle. A second later, there is a loud skittering sound from the curtained back door to the common room, the one which leads towards the kitchen and entrance to the cellar. And a veritable horde of rats pour through the door. (OOC: With due apologies to Robert Browning) Great rats, small rats, lean rats, brawny rats, brown rats, black rats, grey rats, tawny rats. They swarm over everything in their path, causing patrons to scream and try desperately to get out of the way and/or run for the exit. Agenbite, with a yell, jumps onto the bar, and Treasure, surprised, leaps to her feet with a porcine roar as rats run up her sides and back and around her trotters.
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:34 am

"Dammit," Vox spits, his good mood thoroughly broken, "That's disgusting! Filthy damned beasts!" He pushes his chair backwards, letting it hit the ground as he rolls backwards out of it and backflips atop the table that had formerly been behind him.

(Acrobatics: 27)

He produces a pistol crossbow from within his coat as he lands, releasing a catch that allows the staves to lock into place. He loads the bow with a practiced motion, and then realizes that there's not much point in trying to skewer an entire room full of rats. With a grimace, he prepares to kick at any of the vermin that tries climbing up onto his table.


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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Mon Dec 29, 2008 12:34 am

The member 'Rolzup' has done the following action : Dice Roller

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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:49 am

Yatagan looks down at the rat swarm, clearly nonplussed. To a Dragonborn, this was the equivalent of assaulting a foes' stronghold with a low-quality buffet. The paladin heaves himself to his feat and makes for the door. His new armor bangs and clanks as it's hidden clockwork mechanisms shift it's movable plating around to facilitate rapid movement.

1st roll, Athletics, to stomp his way through the rat-mass.

Crashing out into the street, Yatagan shouts menacingly at Han's retreating form, "Whatever you thought to extort from us, double it, and place it nicely wrapped on our doorstep by sunrise tomorrow!"

He pauses dramatically. Also to catch his breath.

"Or there will be deaths! Many, many deaths!". To emphasize his point, Yatagan snatches one of the scampering rats and eats it.

2nd roll, Intimidate.

Note to self thinks Yatagan buy copious amount of rat poison. And more fireworks.

edit: so that's Athletics 25, Intimidate 19 (do I get a circumstance bonus for the rat-swallowing flourish?)


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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Mon Dec 29, 2008 7:49 am

The member 'Mallus' has done the following action : Dice Roller

#1 'd20' : 16

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#2 'd20' : 6
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Mon Dec 29, 2008 9:29 am

Odanais, oddly unperturbed, releases several blasts of Thunderwave at the rats, using it's pushing effect to sweep huge (probably dead) clumps of them out the front door with each wave of his hand.
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:07 am

Rolzup wrote:
He pushes his chair backwards, letting it hit the ground as he rolls backwards out of it and backflips atop the table that had formerly been behind him.

(Acrobatics: 27)

Showoff!

Mallus wrote:
Yatagan looks down at the rat swarm, clearly
nonplussed. To a Dragonborn, this was the equivalent of assaulting a
foes' stronghold with a low-quality buffet

Beautiful!

Quote :
"Or there will be deaths! Many, many deaths!". To emphasize his point, Yatagan snatches one of the scampering rats and eats it.

2nd roll, Intimidate.

Note to self thinks Yatagan buy copious amount of rat poison. And more fireworks.

edit: so that's Athletics 25, Intimidate 19 (do I get a circumstance bonus for the rat-swallowing flourish?)

Of course!

gridley wrote:
Odanais,
oddly unperturbed, releases several blasts of Thunderwave at the rats,
using it's pushing effect to sweep huge (probably dead) clumps of them
out the front door with each wave of his hand.

After the initial shock, it quickly becomes clear that the rats have no intention of attacking, since they simply swarm around, past and over everything in their path. Their sheer numbers mean that anyone not able to get out of the way instantly ends up with a few scratches, but nobody is bitten, and in seconds the swarm streams out into the street and after Hans. The lycanthrope and his cronies, after casting a venomous glance back at Yatagan, do not pause and hurry away, followed by the horde of rodents.

Which leaves the League in possession of the field, i.e. the Hall. Which, for the moment, is mercifully free of pig-worshippers, lycanthropes, and petitioners of any kind. All that remains with them are the slowest or most sozzled of the drunks, and Agenbite. Who levels a finger at Odanais from the top of the bar. "You! You're cleaning that up!" he says, indicating the pile of dead rats near the front door, and the bloodstains they left behind.
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PostSubject: Re: O brave new world, that has such people in't!   Mon Dec 29, 2008 10:14 am

"So," says Odanais, continuing to sweep dead rats out the door with his thunderwaves, "shall we fortify our armaments with a bit of silver?"
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